A thief stole the gas out of my car!

This may be illegal, or dishonest at least, but I definitely use my childhood address and phone number on some things. I haven't lived in my childhood home for four years, my parents haven't lived there for three, and my sister hasn't lived there for one. Still, it is the address on my library account. You might think, "Oh, why bother if you never use your library card?" Thing is, I use my library card like three times a week. But they notify you by e-mail now, so having my old address has never caused a problem. Additionally, whenever I go to Safeway (rare occasion, but still happens) and I want to save money, I tell them my old phone number because I don't have a Safeway club card. My mom has a Safeway Club account, and she opened it when we were living at the old house. The phone number is linked, so if you forget your card, you can just say your phone number. I have been using it for years, even though the phone is disconnected and nobody lives there. Safeway doesn't know. And my mom has never updated her account.

Not only do I use the phone number in the store when buying groceries, but most importantly I use it for discounts on gas. If you spend X amount of dollars on groceries per month, you can get from 3cents to 10cents off of your gas. So whenever I go to a Safeway gas station I tell them my old phone number and take advantage of the fact that my mom still buys groceries at Safeway. Essentially, I am stealing her discount.

Oh, and the blog title? Lame attempt at an April Fool's day joke. Because I am the thief. I thought about changing my relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship," but then I figured people may comment on it, and then Tyler might see it. Then he'll get freaked out because he'll think that I think that we're dating, when so far we've only just been hanging out. I'd have to be all "Oh, no, it's a joke," but then Tyler would probably just think it's a cover. And then, because he's freaked out, would stop calling me/hanging out. And then I really would be utterly single. Unless of course, things take a turn for the better and he wants to DTR (define the relationship). Unless things take a turn for the worse and he tells me we're just friends. I didn't want any of this to happen, so I just kept my relationship status blind.