iF yoU seeK (amy)

Today I was forced to attend an hour long meeting with the fourth grade team, whereupon we do paperwork that is not beneficial to anyone, yet is still required. I was told there would be three separate documents.

I start to fill out each one, then down at the bottom I draw a little f in pencil. We continue to talk as my eyelids act as blinds and go from open to closed. I get the next piece of paperwork we have to turn in and I sketch a not too curvy c on it. Really, it looks more like an l. Last document, I'm straining myself to think of educational phrases to put on it. This is so stupid. I draw a tiny u at the bottom, really lightly. I'm a little sad that my word is incomplete, but grateful we're finished. Only, we're not. After discussing excellent mullets, fanny packs (in relation to emergency preparedness) and three piece suits, Jennifer tells us there is a fourth one. Groan. Before I even start filling out the top part like I'm supposed to, I sneak a little k down at the bottom. No one notices.

They're talking away about nothing as I line up the bottom edges of the four papers. Yes, I get a secret joy from writing expletives on documents that I know will go to the assistant principal and/or principal. The thing is, they never get them all at once. I just have to turn in the letter u this week. J.P. Will never have them all at once. I'm thinking about this, thinking about the very off chance that he notices the tiny letters. Like he would, I doubt he reads most of the actual documentation that I do. He probably just scans student names and what level I put them at. I think about the one in a million chance that he gets all four of these documents at once, and then returns them to me, the date marked at the top in red ink like he does, and then at the bottom, a circle around each one of my four rebellious letters. Like he'd say anything about it. He'd probably put a smiley face next to it, because he hates it too.