1) I do not want people to think I am a skanky ho.
2) Who really knows who reads this blog? I don't.
3) What if the lines and indents are invisible to you, and you don't think it's very impressive? What I should have done is taken a before picture, but I don't have one.
If you are really interested in seeing my abs, or are a stalker, then these are the possible ways your dream may come true:
1) I get so ripped in the next few months that my ego exceeds my modesty, and so then I would take a picture and post it.
2) You go hot-tubbing with me at my sister's. But usually we go when it is dark, so good luck then.
3) You are the old person living in the room on the second floor in the retirement center across from me, because I frequently change with the blinds open.
4) You suggest a swimming excursion during the summer.
Oh....I nearly forgot another reason why I am not going to lift my shirt and snap a picture of my abs. Today in word study I was teaching my small group their new words. We were talking about the homophones "sensor" and "censor." In a brief explanation of "censor," a boy decided to give me an example. This is what he said, "It's like when a girl on TV takes off her shirt," (he motions with his hands) and they blur out her,"----"Okay, that's enough, thank you. Censoring is usually blocking out things that are inappropriate," I say. He continues real fast before I can stop him. "Or if they show a woman's vagina." Seriously? What is this kid watching at home? "Okay, you don't need to go into details," I say. I mean, obviously this kid has seen Girl's Gone Wild or something. Jerry Springer? It was just too much. The kicker? Later this week we will have sentence practice. I predict this is what Dirty Little Kid will write: "They censor vaginas on The Girl's Next Door." And then I will have to correct his spelling and say "It's not vaginas, it's vaginae." Because that's what the spell checker just told me.
You know what? I'll solve the no-show-abs-problem right now. Below is a photo of some abs that look similar to mine.
Or at least, how they should look by the end of the summer.
we had to write a referral this week because a second grader called another second grader "gay" and said he was going to kick his ass.
ReplyDeletethese kids are 7 years old.
seriously?
and p.s. i'm super jealous of your amazing abs.