Sunday, August 25, 2013

Why aren't you wearing pants?

These are all true phone conversations I have had with my sister in the course of a Friday evening. 

Her: “Do you want to go to Winco with me?”
Me: “Uh, no.”

Her: “You know the crossdresser on the corner by McDonald’s?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Her: “He got a new dress. It has sequins and sparkles. And there’s a slit that comes up the side.”
Me: “Are you telling me this because you want a dress like it?”
Her: “No.”

Her: “I’m coming up the driveway and I hafta pee! Unlock the door!”
Me: “Hang on, I don’t have any pants on.”
Her: “Why aren’t you wearing pants?”
Me: “Because it was hot.”

Her: “Do you want to do something tomorrow?”
Me: “Like what?”
Her: “You could come to the dump with me.”

Saturday, August 24, 2013

10 Things I will miss about living alone

I've been living by myself since June, but I am getting some new roommates at the end of this month. This has caused me to contemplate life and make a list.

1) I will miss getting to walk around in my underwear. Lounging in my underwear. Cooking in my underwear. Cleaning in my underwear. Crafting in my underwear. But at least the weather is cooling down, so wearing pants isn't as terrible as it could be.

2) I will miss having an entire spare room dedicated to clothes. Have you ever wanted 15 feet of closet rod to hang your clothes from? I had that. But no more. One cannot live in luxury forever.

3) I will miss hogging all the kitchen space. It was really freeing to have an entire fridge to yourself, because I didn't have to cram everything onto one shelf. I didn't think I would enjoy so much fridge space (and cupboard shelf space), but now that I have to give it up I realize the joy it gave me.

4) Ditto the freezer space.

5) I will miss using the main bathroom. I hadn't used my house's main bathroom for over three years since that was my roommate's space, but this summer I had the chance to try it out. It felt so strange at first, but now I am used to it and fully enjoy using the tub to shave my legs.

6) I will miss listening to my music as loud as I want.

7) I will miss feeling oh so comfortable napping on my couch at any time of the day.

8) I will miss not feeling judged for watching dumb TV shows.

9) I will miss singing loudly and badly.

10)  I will miss not feeling guilty about leaving my clothes in the dryer for three days.
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