My childhood habits are catching up w/ me

Talk about an anxiety attack. I crammed as much crap as I could into my car for the first load to my parents. When I got there I went into my room to check out the available space. All two square inches of it. My mom told me on the phone that it was jammed pack from the childhood crap from our old house. She wasn't lying. There was crap everywhere. And I mean crap. I cleared and rearranged as much as I could so there'd be room for my stuff, but it was a challenge. I didn't worry so much about aesthetics as having it all fit inside the door. After I unpacked my car I took a load of old stuff to Goodwill, including:

1) the twin baby stroller I had as a child. I totally loved that thing. I pushed it around everywhere.
2) My Lakorus teal and hot pink duffle bag, which my dad bought for me at the Sportsman show.
3) old speakers
4) My first Bible. I know. Goodwill has hundreds of these. And it was my first one. But I have two other ones. Four if you count the mini ones I have.
5) a bunch of other worthless garbage not worth mentioning.

I am looking at houses tomorrow, and I plan on taking another load to my parents on Wednesday. There is so much to go through that it is overwhelming. But I am going to be ruthless. Basically, I will snap photos and then burn everything. There isn't enough room for everything.

I don't know if you realized it, but it is basically my three rooms coming together, finally, after like, 5 years. Because I have all my childhood crap from my old house that got moved there. And then I have additional crap that I used more, but didn't take to college with me at my parents' new house. And now I am trying to shove everything I've used from the past three years into that same bedroom. So what I'm saying is, I've never seen all of it in the same place. I'm not sure it can be done. God help me. Seriously. Please God, help me. I need to find a house that I can afford. I need the seller to accept my offer, or for the bank to call back on the house that I currently have an offer on. This would be cool if it happened by the end of next week. And I need to become detached from my sentiments and be able to throw away/donate all the garbage that is accumulating in my room, so I can be free from ridiculous possessions. Amen.

I once heard on the radio about this woman who hoarded everything. She wouldn't get rid of anything, and her house was just a mess. It was full of piles and stacks. Well, her husband didn't see her for two days. He reported her missing. The police searched and searched, and then they came to the house and saw what a mess it was. They thought it quite likely that she disappeared amongst all the crap. And sadly, it was true. She was like, 75 or 80 and one of the towering piles of junk fell on her and smashed her and she perished in her own home. Death by possessions. They had to search her house for 8 hours before they found her. I don't want that to be me.


UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.