Monday, March 16, 2009

How to snag a man, the movie

Oh my gatos. My sister has the perfect plan. Or the perfect idea for a screenplay. We were on the phone chatting, and she was telling me about how she was going to get some more rocks on her finger because Travis got her wedding band the other day (finally). I was like "Wish I had one of those." And she's like "You gotta get a man first." Then she came up with this elaborate scheme for how I can meet some hot guy. She suggested I enroll in some college's evening class. And nothing that would prove futile in results, like education classes. No, I need chemistry or physics or computers or something male dominated. Then I just show up to the first class, and if there aren't any hot guys, I transfer out. I'll have like the first three weeks to bounce from class to class, until I find a guy that I want to stalk, er, I mean get to know better. In fact, if I find a big enough class, I probably don't even have to enroll. I could just show up.

Additionally, Jess suggested I get a job at a college tutoring center. But I was like "then the only guys I would meet would be illiterate." So she decided that I should be the one to go to the tutoring center. I could just get any old textbook that some class is using (don't actually go to the class), and then take it to the tutoring center and be like "I don't get this." Not only do I have the possibility of meeting some hot math whizz, but maybe I could finally learn how to do geometry proofs. Who cares that our relationship would be built on false pretenses?

I think all of this would make a really good movie. Like, maybe Amy Adams could play a 27 year old woman who has never had a boyfriend in her entire life, and she's this gorgeous but lonely dental hygienist (like Shannon from The Bachelor) who once abused nitrous oxide when no one was looking, so she decides to fake going back to college in order to meet some hot man. Only instead of falling for a grad student, she ends up having the hots for an adjunct professor of botany. No! of forensics! And then what happens is, there's a murder, and the adjunct professor who used to work for the police department for a short time tries to solve the crime. He enlists the help of Amy Adams, only she doesn't know anything really about forensics. But she ends up helping him solve the case because part of the evidence has to do with teeth, and Amy knows teeth. While falling in love, the prof. finds out Amy isn't really a student at all, but he doesn't care, because he loves her and he really wishes he had dental insurance. Which he doesn't get because he's an adjunct. Oh god, it's perfect.

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