Budding TV Addiction

Remember how a few weeks ago I said it was my goal to join a gym by the end of the month? And of how it’s not a New Year’s resolution since it’s something that’s been on my to do list since October? I was going to join as soon as I was able to leave school on time three days a week. Well, that never happened. And remember how after that blog post saying I would join a gym, I baked cupcakes and ate them? Oh, wait, maybe I didn’t mention that part.

There is a gym more or less right next to the school I teach at, and I dropped some serious cash there on Wednesday evening. I know, I know, I could just do Tae Bo or Pilates videos at home, or jog around my neighborhood for free. Sometimes free is not a good motivator. I figured if I was paying money for something, I would make it a bigger priority to use it. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Today was my first day using the gym. After I changed, I went upstairs to use the elliptical machine. It took me a minute to figure it out (actually, I don’t think I understand it all quite yet. Maybe after a few more times), and I programmed it to level three, thinking that seemed about right. Either I am way out of shape, or level three is the mountain course. My legs were burning, but I was determined to get through. I was listening to the Alias soundtrack on my iPod, because it makes me feel like a spy. There are no words, just adventurous sounds with titles like “Red hair is better,” “Spanish Heist,” “Double Life,” and “Tunisia” which is one of my favorites. While listening to secret agent tracks, I got visually distracted by one of the four televisions. It was TLC. I haven’t watched TLC since last June. I started to freak out. Unfortunately, it wasn’t one of my favorite shows. It was Jon and Kate plus Eight, which I mean is okay, but I was hoping for What Not to Wear. Instead, while exercising I watched Jon get hair implants and one of the little boys heave into a yellow bowl. Okay, gross.

After thirty minutes on the elliptical had passed, I was tired but thought it a bit silly to come for just a half an hour, considering the price I was paying. I switched machines and went to the pedaling thing. It wasn’t really a bike, so I’m not sure what to call it, but it had pedals and I got to sit down. I switched out of music and started listening to an audiobook (Bridge to Terebithia). It was pretty relaxing. Then What Not to Wear came on. The guy next to me switched the channel of the TV in front of him to Bones. It was then that I got a marvelous idea. I am going to work out all the time, because then I can watch cable. I watched as the guy scrolled through the directory. They have more than just basic cable. I am going to go to the gym for three hours everyday so I can watch all my favorite shows on all my favorite channels that I haven’t seen since last summer (remember, we don’t have TV at my house anymore?). I of course will carefully schedule my work out times with TV show times. I don’t really want to be there at 9pm though to watch all the good shows. And I mean, if I spend four hours at the gym watching TV, at least it’s healthy, right?

I’ve been doing fine (mostly) not having TV for the past seven months, but once you see it again, it sucks you in. That’s how TV works. You see one cable show and you want to watch them all. I really miss HGTV. This is what I am going to do. I am going to go to Tvguide.com and look up the show schedule, so I can see if I can go to the gym at the best viewing times. I figure now my gym membership fees are more reasonable—half of it goes towards equipment, and the other half is basically the replacement of my old cable bill. Pretty much I am going to start frying my eyes and burning my thighs.