Shoes + Porn, but not porn-shoes

On Monday I was in a reading group with my kids, and as we're settling in, one says, "Ms. G, can I ask you a question?" Yeah? "Why are you wearing grandma shoes today?" I was like, what, hold up. "These aren't grandma shoes, these are black heels!" I thought I was looking pretty sharp that day. I was actually wearing shoes that make me taller and clink on the floor when I walk, and I had on this stark white blazer that I am always paranoid about when I wear it. Clearly this kid hasn't any fashion sense. He's been wearing baggy shorts all year long. One day he wore full length jeans to class and everybody noticed. And it's January. Everyday.

Right now I am at my sister's house, waiting for it to be 7:30 to go line dancing (haha, I know). On My way to my sister's house, I cannot help but look at the reader board for the porn store. "Adult Shop," whatever. The sign is in big black letters on a yellow background, and I'm always curious to see what's on sale. The sign is sort of by a stop-light, so it gives me optimal time to read about the specials. Today it was 99 cent DVDs and new lingerie. On the other corner of the intersection is Bob's Books and Things, which is also a smutty shop. I always joke with her that I bought her a present there, because we both know there is no way in H-E double hockey sticks that I am going in there.

Well, time to put on the boots and do the watermelon crawl.