Saturday Morning News

Good morning, it's a sunny day on The Real Pretend at 47 degrees with a humidity of 70 percent. Wind is flowing at a gentle 8 MPH.

Stay tuned for these news stories:
*What new blogs Joelle recommends
*How her name is sort of like Cher, but mostly not
*What she discovered on her trip back to high school


But first, some harsh judgment by yours truly. While I was at the grocery store on Wednesday, this is the conversation I heard behind me, between mother and child.

Mother: Look, it's Grizzly Adams. (Points to tall, oldish man with long gray beard standing in the checkout line RIGHT NEXT TO US.)

Child: Who's that?

Mother: You know, like a Mountain Man.

Two minutes later, another, even taller man wearing a black suit joins the neighboring line. He has dark hair and a mustache.

Mother: It's a mortician (whispers to child).

Child: Creepy.

Three minutes later.

Child: Mom, when is Thanksgiving?

Mother: I have no idea. I think on a Thursday.

I think: Really? You are an adult and you do not know that Thanksgiving falls on the fourth Thursday of every November? It's the only holiday that is consistent like that. You think that it is on a Thursday? Oh my god. She probably doesn't know the date of the Fourth of July either.

Now back to our topics at hand.

I was on unclutterer.com, which I ironically visit when I am putting things off (mainly cleaning), when I found a link to LobotoMe, which is not a doctor owned and operated site, when I found more links that led me to blogs I like to look at. These include Black*Eiffel, which sounds sort of French but I'm not sure if it is, and Mer Mag, who is this artsy mom who has adorable blond children and does all sorts of crafty things for them that makes you wish she had been your mother. It has a lot of photos of purely whimsical subject matter. Search through until you find the Peter Pan birthday party, it's my favorite.

Next, how my name is like Cher but mostly not. If you mention the musical artist Cher, everyone knows who you are talking about. Cher. No last name is needed. In fact, most people don't know she has a last name. She's a first name kind of girl.

I was at the gym and it was launch week, which means for every class you go to, you get entered into a raffle. They gave me a card and a pen, and I wrote "Joelle" on it. I later realized maybe I should have put my last name on it, but I probably didn't need to. I am 99% I am the only Joelle who attends my gym. It was kind of like in college, where if you said my name to someone, they knew it was me because I was the only one. In fact, my parents probably could have left off my last name. I know there are other Joelles, but I think I could have been distinguished easily like this: "Joelle" "Who?" "Joelle, you know, the one from 1985." Because who else named their baby Joelle in 1985? No one.

Sorry I am such a liar, but the part where I tell you about what I discovered at my high school when I went back will have to wait. I've lost my attention span, and chances are you have too. So you know, more later.

I am going to go buy a winter coat at Old Navy, because they are 50 percent off.