I don't want to let you go

Today was the last day. Tomorrow is the first day. Yesterday was nothing.

Goodbye, summer vacation. Hello, work. Summer started out too slow, like laundry out to dry on a cloudy day. Then it sped up so fast it was like a tornado gaining speed, sweeping me up and making me dizzy. It just seems like there is not enough time in the day anymore. I wake up, work on house stuff or school stuff, and that's it.

Good news is, my main bathroom is totally gorgeous. I'm almost jealous that it's not my bathroom. Which just means now I have to put more work into mine to make it look better. If you ever come over to my house, be sure to use the bathroom, even if you don't really have to go. Because you might just want to lock the door and stay in there for a while to gaze at the loveliness.

Other good news, I'm actually getting some artwork and frames up on the walls, and I think I may have found a really excellent sofa and love seat today. I have fabric swatches that I'm trying to decide on, then I'll probably pop back in on Wednesday or something.

I have to go pack my lunch now. And pick out what I am going to wear to work.

Oh hi, remember me?

Good blogging is scarce these days, due to the fact that I just got internet today. Also, mostly due to the fact that my house is an utter disaster and it takes ages to do one little thing. Examples:

Install blinds. Estimated time: 1 hour. Actual Time: 5.5 hours.
Hang up towel rack. Estimated time: 10 minutes. Actual Time: 2 days
Paint bedroom. Estimated time: 4.5 hours. Actual time: 4 days.
Arrange and clean up kitchen. Estimated time: 3 hours. Actual time: 1.5 weeks
Hang bathroom mirror. Estimated time: 15 minutes. Actual time: 35 minutes.
Put up house numbers. Estimated time: 20 minutes. Actual time: 45 minutes.
Install mail box. Estimated time: 30 minutes. Actual time: 0 minutes. But that's because Dan did it for me.

And then work starts on Tuesday. BAhhh. But I have to say, my desk arrangement this year totally rocks. I'll take pictures and post it when you know, my house is put together. If you are wondering what I still have left to do, I'll give you a partial list.

To Do:
*find a dryer I like, buy it, get it delivered
*ditto a sofa and loveseat
*ditto 3 bookshelves ( 6 ft tall, wooden)
*hang up my bathroom mirror
*screw in towel hook in main math
*buy a hand towel ring and install it in main bath
*rake up those stupid pine cones in the back
*re-seed my back grass. I don't call it a backyard because I don't think it's big enough to qualify as a yard or lawn. More like a strip. Literally.
* touch up paint in my room, my bathroom, and the main bathroom
*arrange living room
*get crap out of living room
*figure out this whole stupid wireless internet router business so Natalie and Britt can, you know, check their Facebook
*and a lot more.

Good night.

I have my house

I apologize for not keeping you posted very much this week. I'm sorry. I have the keys to my house and I am moving, painting, setting up utilities, and buying appliances. I will tell you much more later. In the mean time, go rent the first season of Lost. Or Alias. Or Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (because Sully is really hot).

Coming soon: My Neighbors, a play in 3 acts.
Because you basically won't believe it.

From the Files of...(you won't believe what we discover!)

Does the title sound like one of those tabloids? You know, the ones that claim they found a mother who gave birth to an alien, or say that Angelina Jolie stole a baby out of a shopping cart near Saks? Because that's what I was going for.

Click photo to enlarge.


Translation and interpretation:

Jan 31, 1994
Jessamy was techer for Bible today. I'm not sure what she tried to teach us during Bible study time, but I'm sure it was interesting because...
Mom got mad too!This evokes a really funny image in my head. I'm guessing she never let Jess teach us God's wisdom ever again.
Dad went camping last night. Typical.
Addy is coming in 1 or 2 days. You'd think this was some sort of relative coming to visit, but no. We were anticipating the UPS delivery of my sister's American Girl doll.
Mom is sick too. Chicken soup, maybe?

Feb. 1, 1994
Hi! were having paplick school. I am Doble BoRD!My sister and I were home-schooled, so I'm not exactly what "having public school" meant. Chances are we walked around our house three times and then knocked on another door, greeted our mother as Mrs. Grossen, and set up the dining room as a cafeteria. I totally understand public school causing double boredom. Trying to stay awake in my 9th grade world studies class was impossible.
I have 4 things on my chore card. How domestic.
Jessamy moved her stuff. My sister had a lot of crap and I'm guessing her model horse collection and cardboard barn was encroaching upon my side of the room. I got pissed when this happened.
Missy fell in the pool yesterday!Missy was our grey cat. This was probably humorous to witness. She was likely tiptoeing around the edges, admiring her reflection when she toppled in. I wonder how she got out.


So okay, enough about those days. Can we just take one more minute to zoom in on one or two sentences from January 25th?



I'm going to be a clown for Jessy's birthday. Really? I made these sort of sacrifices for my older sister? I distinctly remember the day. My sister had all her friends come over for a party, and I put on my flower printed jean coveralls, the ones with the poofy pant legs. I wore a stupid hat and put red lipstick all over my nose. Then I proceeded to tell really lame jokes and attempt to juggle and do magic tricks.

I wish I could tell you more. At first I laughed when I read this line. Like, "Jo Jo, I wish you had more interesting things to write about than how you ate breakfast and then got dressed. Quit trying to drown your patheticism by pretending to be Ronald McDonald."

But then I re-read it, and it is actually quite eerie, taking into account the sentence above it. Like maybe I'm really that creepy clown from the Stephen King movie It, and after the birthday party I plan on lurking around in sewers, peeking out of the grate to spy on my next child victim. And then the next thing you know, you'll be looking around at your starched sheets that are out to dry, wondering why your toddler's red trike is sitting there, empty. Because what you don't know is that Jo Jo the clown has snatched him up. Shiver down your spine?

The Uniform Project

Imagine that you have to wear the same black dress/suit every day for an entire year. Sound depressing? Think it would keep you from socializing with friends or going to the same place more than once? One girl manages to make the best of it. In fact, she's downright flaunting her one-piece wardrobe.

While jumping around on Unclutterer.com yesterday, I discovered this interesting site called The Uniform Project. This woman has pledged to wear the same dress every day for a year as part of an effort to raise money for uniforms for children in India. She layers and accessorizes the outfits and posts every day's get-up on her website. After looking through a month's worth, it seems to me you could save a lot more dough by having a more varied wardrobe, what with all the money it must have cost to buy all the shoes, layers, and accessories for each outfit. Then I discovered that a lot of sites donate clothes to her. Nevertheless, it's quite fascinating to check out. I don't think I could ever wear any of the outfits in public as they look more like costumes than actual everyday clothing, but whatever. Power to her.

Day one.

Day 63.

Day 40.

I Digg It!

And you should digg it, too!


What I am digging this week:

1) LetterMeLater.com I've been searching for something like this forever. On this handy web tool, you link up your e-mail account, and then you can schedule to send e-mails at a later time. I fully intend on utilizing this during the school year when it gets hectic. For example, I'm going to schedule a recurring email that is sent to my work e-mail address at 3:30pm every Wednesday to remind me it's trash night. You can also schedule to send texts to your phone. I'm thinking a "remember to do laundry" at 1pm on Saturdays would be very handy. While I primarily plan on using this tool to remind myself to do things (because while I frequently forget to do domestic chores, I never forget to check my e-mail 17 times a day), it's totally set up for you to e-mail whomever you want. Check it out, it's free!

2) Floorplanner.com Another free on-line tool, this site allows you to draw the entire floor plan of your house. You customize the room dimensions, add furniture and fixtures, etc. You create the thing in 2D, but when you are finished you can view your home in 3D! I am totally digging this since I am getting my first house very soon, and I plan on mapping out all the square footage. This would still be handy if you are changing the lay-out of just one room. And teachers, use this sucker! I also plan on mapping out my classroom (once I can get back inside to measure the dimensions) and effortlessly trying out a variety of desk placements. It's a dream! Check it out!

3) Picnik.com Okay, so I've been digging this for a while. It's free and you can edit your photos and make them look really professional. I am a horrible photographer, but I've managed to make some really awesome looking photos using Picnik. Use it!

4) Google.docs I think this article explains its functions better than I can, but basically you make documents on-line and save them on-line, making it easy to access them from anywhere. This will be very handy when I start teaching again. No more e-mailing lesson plans from work to home to work again. If you are one of those college kids doing a dreaded group paper, you can also live edit your drafts. FREE!

5) Target. I always dig Target. They have everything.

6) Rachel McAdams. She's adorable! I am excited to see her in The Time Traveler's Wife, which comes out on August 14th. The film is based on the novel by Audrey Niffenegger. I haven't read the novel yet, but I totally Wikipediad it and now I want to check it out from the library.

7) Gourmet Vegetarian Pizza from Papa Murphy's. Yum! This stuff is good. It has fresh spinach, fresh zucchini, fresh mushrooms, artichoke hearts, Roma tomatoes, onions, and cheese of course. It comes on garlic sauce but I get it on red because I'm not a fan of garlic sauce. My mom bought it the last two times, so we got it with half grilled chicken on one side because she's not a vegetarian. The delectable pizza is piled high with veggies and cheesy goodness and I could eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was recommended to me by my Aunt Bink.

From the Files of

I'm starting a new feature called "From the Files of" where you will be privy to the journaling (sp?) from my childhood. I discovered a floral fabric covered journal circa 1994 that my mother forced me to write in daily as part of my home-school education. We'll start there and progress to high school, where things become juicier. I aim to share at least one of these a week.
I recommend clicking on the image because it will blow up in a new window, making it infinitely easier to read. It's really a very authentic experience, much like breaking into the diary of your older sister. However, I will still translate, dissect, and read in between the lines.

Jan. 26 1994
I am going to town. (This was a big deal since I lived out in the country on a dead end road.)
I am very tird. (Either I was tired or I was a turd, or I was tired from passing a turd.)
I will tell you more latter to day. Ok.....I am back! (Awesome. Because you are such an enthralling author.)

Jan. 27 1994
I am having a spelling test today. (I sincerely hope "tired" and "later" was not on the test.)

Jessamy is going to go to Stacie's tomoro. And when Jess is at Stacie's. I get a Sunday! Yum yum! (I apparently could not properly punctuate sentences, but maybe I did it to emphasize how important getting a sundae was. Whenever my sister went to a friend's house, my mother would console me with desserts. Awesome. Your daughter already doesn't have friends, and now you're trying to fatten her up with ice cream? Thanks, Mom. My first connection in linking emotions with food.)

That concludes the first installment in this life revealing series.

Redacted

Of course the first thing I did after checking my Facebook, e-mail, and library due dates was read a news update about how the finale of The Bachelorette turned out. Jillian chose Ed. I am sorry, but I don't think it is going to last. I feel like Jillian forced herself to "fall in love" because she felt she was in the show too deep. Like, ABC gathered all these men, spent all this money on wonderful dates, and she thinks she should be able to pick someone from all that. I don't know about you, but I realized half way through the season that all these guys were not for her. It's like shopping for a pair of jeans and Nordstrom. Everybody tells you you should be able to pick a nice pair, but you try them on and none of them really fit exactly right. But you end up buying a pair anyway, saying you can cinch it up with a belt, or hem them up, or something, because the sales girl has invested all this time into getting new sizes for you and she even ran to Starbucks to get you a latte because you were so tired. You can't let her down. So you hand over your credit card. In this case, Jillian hands over her ring finger. Such a tragedy.

I just discovered this really great blog at www.redactedblog.blogspot.com This guy Dan writes the funniest stuff. He's from New York but just moved to Miami. Sometimes his girlfriend Brooke writes on his blog and she is equally as funny. They do really snarky re-caps of The Bachelorette, and for the finale they did a live blog of it (wrote while watching the show). Then Dan has these really great Million Dollar Ideas that he shares. Additionally, after Dan saw previews where Amy Adams stars in a movie about blogging, he has hope that one day Zac Efron will play him in the movie of Redacted. The only bad thing about the blog is that it is archived back to November 2006, which means I have a lot of catching up to do.

Currently listening to in my car via audiobook: The City of Ember. I am way into it. There is this city and they are completely in the dark and depend on lightbulbs (duh). As far as they know, no other towns exist. But now there is an emergency and all their supplies are running low, and there is a secret, lost box with instructions, and this little girl finds it and I am going to go crazy because I don't know how it is going to end!

I am supposed to have a house in eight days or less. (!)

Annoying pop culture

Michael Jackson dies and then all of a sudden Target has to sell these black marching band jackets. I mean seriously? Are they going to start selling white gloves separately as well? People are so crazy over Michael Jackson. I was driving the other day when I saw a van totally decked out in window paint with messages honoring MJ. A bit overboard, don't you think?

So there's this new song on the radio and I'll be honest that I wasn't really listening to the lyrics. Then the chorus came. I heard "When I takes over, when I takes over, when I takes over..." I had to change the station because it was getting on my nerves that they couldn't properly conjugate their verbs. When I take over, when he/she takes over, when they take over, when we take over. Get it right. Well apparently I need to get my hearing checked, because I Googled the song and it is called "When Love Takes Over." Um, yeah. That's not what I heard. I guess I am going deaf.

The vicious cycle of reality TV

Oh my gosh, someone please stab me in the eyes with a fork. If you've been a long time reader, you know about my unhealthy habit of watching trashy reality TV shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Due to the fact that I don't have TV or quality internet during the summer, I've missed the last four episodes of The Bachelorette. Instead, I read news articles about what happened on the episodes so I still am in the know. Apparently last night was the special episode "The Men Tell All" whereupon Jason Mesnick and Molly appeared to give an update on their life. While reading the humorous article, I discovered that Deanna Pappas, the bachelorette that dumped Jason (causing him to become The Bachelor), has a TV show on Lifetime! Aaack! I hated her, to be honest. She seemed too demanding. Now she is the co-host with Colin Cowie on Get Married, which I guess is some sort of wedding planning show. She's such a pain.

The Bachelor/The Bachelorette needs to die off so I (and people like me, cough cough Aunt Bink) can stop wasting time. Put some stupid bass fisher on again to end the vicious cycle.

In other news, my dad tried to get me to use the backhoe yesterday. He's like "I could teach you how. It could be fun, moving all that dirt in a single bound." It was really hot outside so I passed, much as operating heavy equipment excited me. When I came back from town that night, he was still out digging by our pond (if you could call it that...it's more there so that the lower fields don't flood).

Today I saw some kid I recognized, but couldn't place. Then I saw the adult she was with and realized it was the sister of one of my students from my student teaching practicum. I've already last count of how many kids that is this summer...maybe like 8? I don't know. Everywhere I look I see kids I feel I should know.

After tutoring I went to the park to lay on the grass and eat my lunch. It was quite splendid and then I witnessed a comedy on the way back to my car. All these mothers sitting on the grass with their kids started getting attacked by the sprinklers, which came on without a warning. They were all grabbing at towels and chairs and books, trying to flee. By that point I was overheated so I made it a point to walk through the mist.

Life tip: If at all possible, park your car next to the curb in a parking lot, so that you are only parked right next to one other car. This decreases your chances of someone hitting your car doors by 50%

Ponies

Ponies are lovely mammals that you can ride. They can be all different colors, like black, chestnut, white, freckled, piebald, dun, bay, and dapple--which means gray with whitish spots. You can also brush ponies and braid their hair. Ponies love to munch carrots and fresh, green grass. But don't let your pony eat too much grass or he/she may get sick! And then you'll have to call the vet and they will have to stick this gross tube up your pony's nose and give him castor oil and practically pump his stomach because he got out of his stall and ate a whole barrel of grain and will die if he doesn't poop it out pronto. Oh wait, sorry. Ponies love to nuzzle your neck and take you for adventures through the forest. When I ride my pony I wear a white, flowing gown, and go barefoot. Fairies play musical instruments in my ears while I gallop near the streams.

I'm pretending to be...

...a real estate agent today. This afternoon my mom and I are going to our old house and I have to take pictures and create an ad to sell their house. My dad made one and I looked at it and said "You need help." I mean, I watch a lot of HGTV, I know these things.

So I plan on taking more/better pictures and measuring the rooms so we can advertise the dimensions because they are HUGE. Like, I am fairly certain two of the bedrooms equals more than the entire square footage of my old townhouse.

When I re-do the ad I will eliminate my dad's random, odd capitalization. Oh, totally forgot to tell you this the other day. I think it was Thursday night and I went to bed and turned the lights off of course. I'm sprawled there, in a dark room, for maybe thirty-five minutes. Then my mom opens the door and says "are you asleep?" No. I'm not. Obviously. She says "how do you spell 'remodeled'? It doesn't have two Ls does it?" Absolutely not. I tell her how to spell it, and then she shuts the door, and I roll over at my fourth attempt of getting comfortable. Apparently I am the (nearly) sleeping dictionary. There's this thing on your computer called spell check....

I told my mom I charge a 1% commission on all homes I sell. She said maybe she'd let me store my childhood crap in a closet at their house for 3-5 years. I said deal.