From the Files of...(you won't believe what we discover!)

Does the title sound like one of those tabloids? You know, the ones that claim they found a mother who gave birth to an alien, or say that Angelina Jolie stole a baby out of a shopping cart near Saks? Because that's what I was going for.

Click photo to enlarge.


Translation and interpretation:

Jan 31, 1994
Jessamy was techer for Bible today. I'm not sure what she tried to teach us during Bible study time, but I'm sure it was interesting because...
Mom got mad too!This evokes a really funny image in my head. I'm guessing she never let Jess teach us God's wisdom ever again.
Dad went camping last night. Typical.
Addy is coming in 1 or 2 days. You'd think this was some sort of relative coming to visit, but no. We were anticipating the UPS delivery of my sister's American Girl doll.
Mom is sick too. Chicken soup, maybe?

Feb. 1, 1994
Hi! were having paplick school. I am Doble BoRD!My sister and I were home-schooled, so I'm not exactly what "having public school" meant. Chances are we walked around our house three times and then knocked on another door, greeted our mother as Mrs. Grossen, and set up the dining room as a cafeteria. I totally understand public school causing double boredom. Trying to stay awake in my 9th grade world studies class was impossible.
I have 4 things on my chore card. How domestic.
Jessamy moved her stuff. My sister had a lot of crap and I'm guessing her model horse collection and cardboard barn was encroaching upon my side of the room. I got pissed when this happened.
Missy fell in the pool yesterday!Missy was our grey cat. This was probably humorous to witness. She was likely tiptoeing around the edges, admiring her reflection when she toppled in. I wonder how she got out.


So okay, enough about those days. Can we just take one more minute to zoom in on one or two sentences from January 25th?



I'm going to be a clown for Jessy's birthday. Really? I made these sort of sacrifices for my older sister? I distinctly remember the day. My sister had all her friends come over for a party, and I put on my flower printed jean coveralls, the ones with the poofy pant legs. I wore a stupid hat and put red lipstick all over my nose. Then I proceeded to tell really lame jokes and attempt to juggle and do magic tricks.

I wish I could tell you more. At first I laughed when I read this line. Like, "Jo Jo, I wish you had more interesting things to write about than how you ate breakfast and then got dressed. Quit trying to drown your patheticism by pretending to be Ronald McDonald."

But then I re-read it, and it is actually quite eerie, taking into account the sentence above it. Like maybe I'm really that creepy clown from the Stephen King movie It, and after the birthday party I plan on lurking around in sewers, peeking out of the grate to spy on my next child victim. And then the next thing you know, you'll be looking around at your starched sheets that are out to dry, wondering why your toddler's red trike is sitting there, empty. Because what you don't know is that Jo Jo the clown has snatched him up. Shiver down your spine?