Becoming Sydney Bristow

I told you before that I listen to Alias soundtracks while at the gym because it makes me feel like a spy. I gotta tell you, this week has been tough. I went to the gym on Saturday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. The only day I got to watch TV that I liked was on Saturday because I was basically alone. I might drive in tomorrow just so I can watch HGTV. They have lots of good ones on Saturdays. I think I might check TV guide after this and see.

I got semi-tricked into lifting weights (one time in college I got tricked into taking chemistry, but that's a different story). I went to my first group class on Monday. It started at 5:30, and there were all these people waiting outside the room for it to start. I told a friendly looking lady I was new, and asked what the class was about (since it's description was one word, which was not a good adjective). We lift weights, she tells me. Like real weights. The kind where you have a bar and add the disks to each end. I started with 2.5 on each end, because that's what the staff member suggested. I was fine at first, but then after a squillion reps I was dying. And it was only five pounds. Despite the fact that the poundage I was pressing was little, I felt kind of hard core. There were lots of people in the class so I could just watch the people in front of me what to do. I went to the same class on Wednesday and kind of knew what to do a little more.

On Thursday I just did my own thing, because I got there too late to join any classes without feeling embarrassed. I was very disappointed to be forced into watching the news. Honestly, I don't care if a bunch of people caught Salmonella. I've got my own ish to worry about. Don't tell me the problems of even more people. I've got 27 on my mind for a near 19 hours a day (because I dream about them, too).

Today I went to a kickboxing class, and I have to say that the instructor looked infinitely cooler than I did. He had the little glove things on his hands and jumped all around in his swishy black pants. He also moved real fast. Since no one wants to work out on Friday (they just all want to get drunk or crash), there were only ten other people in the room. I was dead center in front of the instructor. No where to hide. I did the best that I could, and I kind of got into later, like I was Sydney Bristow doing CIA agent field training. It was fun, but the whole time I was thinking that I could very easily dislocate my knee cap because of all the sudden movements and twisting and turning. This was especially on my mind because on Wednesday night after I got home, I dislocated my right knee cap something awful. It got stuck and my leg was high in the air, so I was jumping around my room trying to get it straight. The last time I dislocated my knee cap--see the blog F#^&ing Hell --was in December. Apparently I can only go one month without a mishap. But enough of that.

We were all throwing punches and jabbing, and hooking, and whatnot. For a moment I seriously felt like my heart might quit on me. I am sorry if this sound racist/stereotypical or anything like that, but there was this black girl in front of me that was totally into it. I could tell she came to this class every week, maybe even practiced at home. Every time we let out a punch she would grunt (the instructor encouraged it), and I could see her face snarl up. She is not someone I would want to mess with, like Anna Espinosa.

I am only revealing this to you because I don't know who you are (except for Natalie and Kaitlynn, but I probably already told you). There was this cute guy that worked at the gym (he was the one who gave me a tour), but I have only seen him one time since I joined. Plus, they took his picture down from the personal trainer's board or whatever. I kind of think he either quit or moved to a different location. I am very upset by this, because maybe we could have gotten married in matching track suits and Nike sneakers, once I got the body of Sydney Bristow. But that's just my life.

P.S. This week I have developed an eye twitch. This has never happened before. It is either due to exercising (because that is the new variable), or I really am super stressed at work and I need to get put on Ambien or Xanax or something.