Sugar Daddy Needed

If the letter i were the anti-thesis of the exclamation point (!), then I would need to use it many times in this blog. While the exclamation point can be used to convey excitedness, there is no punctuation in the written English language that can accurately show my feelings about today. The period does not do it justice. Several things:

The librarian came into my classroom holding a laptop computer. I knew it was bad news bears because my class had the laptop cart last yesterday. She showed me the screen. There was a big mark across it. I was shocked. The librarian told the kids that she talked to the principal about it (awesome), and that they need to be much more careful. I had scheduled to use the laptops this afternoon for a computer based reading program, but told the kids that they wouldn't get to today.

During ELD, both the principal and assistant principal stood in the doorway and watched. What for? I don't know. But I was doing good stuff. They probably marked me down because a kid talked.

After lunchtime, we had rainy day recess, which is never very organized. I missed ten minutes of my lunch because after x amount of years, they still haven't figured out what IAs are supposed to be where when.

During my reading group, the assistant principal came in. Like came in looking at me, like he needed to talk to me. It's rare for him to bother me while I am teaching, so I was a bit nervous. BTW, when he came in, my class was reading in complete silence. = ) He chatted with me about an enraged parent (nothing new there). I don't know if this happens to you when you check your e-mail, but everyday I cringe a little, expecting some sort of mean message from somebody.

In my next reading group, I was working with kids spelling words with word cubes. There is a vowel cube (a, e, i, o, u--in case you failed fourth grade), an endings cube (ed, es, le, ing, etc), a cube with tch, ch, ck, sh, wh on it, and then consanant cubes. I say things like, use three cubes and spell "ship," or "change one letter and make it say shop." I was feeling pissed because the kids were just chatting and picking on each other. I saw one kid's vowel cube was face up on the letter u. Then I looked around and saw the ck cube. "Use three cubes and spell....." Well, you can figure it out.

Had a lame meeting, at which I peeled and ate an orange.

Stayed at work 1.5 hours past the time I get paid to be there for.

Didn't want to go to the gym, but I had packed my shoes and everything just in case, and figured I should go since I won't be able to go on Thursday, since I have a math meeting until 6pm in the opposite end of town. I got inside, and a semi-cute guy I hadn't seen before at the desk asked me how it was going. Rather than sharing the complete truth (because no one cares), I said "Well, it's going." Got to the locker room and discovered I left my leggings at home, which meant I only had my shorty short pink shorts with me. A five minute debate ensued inside my brain. Should I go bare-legged? Hide inside a bathroom stall for thirty minutes and just breathe deeply? Get naked and go in the sauna and lock the door? I didn't want to wear just my shorty short shorts because 1) I hadn't exactly shaved all the sections of my legs, 2) they are kind of white but I could get over that, 3) They are very short and would ride up even more if I went on the elliptical or something. I decided to brave it, and just go to the back so people couldn't look at me. I attempted to use this stair stepper thingy, but discovered I am actually too short to use it properly. I think. I gave up after a fifteen second attempt. Then I went to the pedaling thingy and read (because I am behind for my reading group) for a measly 25 minutes. But at least I went.

When I got back to my car, I searched around for my leggings to see if they had fallen out of my bag, or if I really did forget them. I really did forget them, but found something else in my car. It was a white plastic bag with some pink valentine's stuff in it. For a minute I was weirded out, because I couldn't remember buying it, and then I thought someone must have gotten in my car and left it there. I saw the sticky note. I was from my mom, who has a key to my car. Often times, if she needs to give me something, she will just drive by the school parking lot and leave it in my trunk while I am teaching.

She left me a sticky note to call my insurance agent (before my policy expires in six days), a red envelope that I assume is a card, so I'm not opening it till Saturday, a pink kitchen towel, a pink stirring spoon, and cupcake liners. Apparently she did not get the memo about my needed cupcake fast. But maybe she is expecting me to bake oat bran muffins or something. Yeah right. Oh, by the way, I woke up totally freaked out this morning because I had this dream I was ordering at a fast food restaurant, and the restaurant had a mirror, and when I looked in the mirror I was totally obese. Like, three hundred pounds. It was so sick. I saw the mirror right before I went up to order, and then I was all embarrassed to order since I looked like Keiko (only alive, not deceased in Iceland, and without the black and white Orca patterning). I have never had a dream like that before. Totally bizarre. Also, in part of the fat dream I met Obama, only he was obese too. I also talked with his two daugthers, who were normal sized and had hot pink bedrooms.

While at the gym I was thinking hard about what other professions I could try, because today this teacher thing did not work out. I am open to suggestions. I asked Susan in our teacher meeting what other profession she would like to be if she weren't a teacher, and she said, "Um....what's it called, when you like, have a sugar daddy?" I laughed and was like "A prostitute?" She said no, she just wanted a guy that bought her stuff, or just a husband rich enough that she didn't have to work and could just stay home.

After my frustrating day, I decided I would make a new chart for myself and post it by my desk. It will have the day of the week, a spot to record what time I actually leave school, and a stress ranking system numbered one through ten. Here is the corresponding key:
1= totally great day, no stress, inservice so no kids
2= awesome day, kids were angels, my least favorite 2 were absent
3=awesome day, I feel like the kids actually learned something
4= good day, kids behaved well enough that my heart didn't beat faster when the principal came in
5= pretty good day, kids behaved well for the most part
6= decent day, had to talk loudly or ask for attention more than twice
7= barely passable. throat is sore from talking, arm is sore from trying to get attention
8= possible brain embolism, need to take some pills to help me sleep
9= I don't want to go back tomorrow
10= I am searching for new jobs tonight

Today: Tuesday, left at 6:06 pm, scoring it an 8, however I am thinking about alternate careers. Am not going to search for new jobs on-line because I did that yesterday.

A few more days until I post my valentine's day confession blog. I already wrote it, I am just debating whether or not to reveal true names. Right now I need to make Valentines for my students. I got as much black construction paper as I could find, now I just need to cut out black hearts and use a white crayon to draw a skull on them. Kidding. I like most of my kids. They are getting Valentines with Spongebob, Carebears, and Princesses on them, with glittery pencils.