The Three Hour Blog Post

Seriously. My kickbox instructor is trying to kill me. Kickboxing is way more fun than lifting weights, and unfortunately I can only go once a week due to the time it is offered, but it is really hard core. And like I said before, I don't look nearly as cool doing all the moves. Maybe I should buy some black finger glove thingies. For real, I thought I was just going to collapse today with all of the jumps, squats, and planks we had to do.

And oh my goodness, I was so pissed about The Bachelor. I logged on to the page to watch Monday's episode, but they had the Diary of the Departed right there, so I instantly knew Jillian got kicked off. Kind of ruined the suspense but I watched it anyway. Allegedly there is supposed to be a lot of drama in the finale. But they always say "in the most dramatic bachelor finale ever." Because they are doing the best they can to make it really dramatic so people will keep watching even though the show really is pathetic. I had this chat with Susan, my co-worker. She secretly watches The Bachelor too, even though she knows the whole concept is lame. We talked about the show for like twenty minutes on Wednesday after school instead of doing teacher things like grading papers. But now I can be like "OMG Susan, did you see when....can you believe....?" I still need to watch LOST from Wednesday. Hopefully ABC's page won't spoil the ending for me like The Bachelor did.

My computer that is on the fritz is a tiny hair better, but not much. I got Windows loaded again, and turned off and on my computer, so I think it will stick. I still am struggling with the utilities and drives and thus, the screen resolution and internet connection because I think it is related to not having the right things loaded. Like a juvenile delinquent going to boot camp, I am shipping my misbehaving computer to my cousin on Monday. He will probably be able to repair it fully and then I won't have to buy a brand new computer (crossing my fingers and praying).

Right now my sister, her husband, and her couple friends are in Newport at the food and wine festival. I was invited along to be the fifth wheel, mostly because they wanted a DD. They are staying in a beach house and said I could come for free and they'd feed me and everything, but somehow the prospect of being the only single and sober person for a whole weekend away did not seem very appealing. Thus, I am at home catching up on TV on-line and reading trashy celebrity gossip on jezebel.com because Meg Cabot mentioned it in her blog. Plus I am sleeping in tomorrow and going shopping either Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I feel like. Also, going to the library because it is my safe haven. I have to stick my nose in the print and smell it for a sigh of relief. BTW, did you know that children's books printed before 1985 (my birth year!) have been deemed unsafe because the print/ink may contain lead, and if you eat the pages, you could get sick. That's right, if you EAT the pages. Because I often eat my books.

Just when I was fractionally hoping to get fired from my job, our end of the year evals came in and they said they want me back. Great. I was just a tiny bit hoping my contract wouldn't be renewed because then I wouldn't have to make the decision about whether or not I want to come back next year. Oh my goodness, I TOTALLY FORGOT THIS VITAL INFORMATION. You know how I was telling you how HR was stalking me? And how I was getting spied on at school? And how two days after I posted that blog MY COMPUTER CAUGHT A VIRUS? Because they are trying to internet stalk me and access my private files and ruin my life? Yeah, I blame all the little agents at Human Resources for my computer crashing. I am serious.

Today I called my bratty little student out for not getting her work done in front of a good chunk of her friends. Normally I do things like that in private in order for kids to save face, but I think she needed the peer pressure. Because now she'll get her work done because she doesn't want me to call her out again next week when she has not completed an entire week's worth of word study jobs. I made her stay in at recess to get caught up on the past three weeks, because who the hell knows what she's been doing with her time? Oh, actually I do know. She's been writing nasty notes to other kids and writing "sex" on the bathroom walls, and sketching pictures of the middle finger and drawing pictures of me with my hair standing up in that little notebook of hers. But I blog about her here so I guess we are even.

I could pretty much write for two hours straight, because right now Natalie is watching a movie with Quinn and Elizabeth is probably playing beer pong or something and I am the only one home. Writing on here is like talking to myself but also like talking to somebody with ears, because I like to think people are listening. Anyway, you most likely don't want to read a blog that I wrote for two continuous hours, so I'd better stop before you get too bored.

Oh eff it, I can't stop. This is the official ending of this blog entry. If you read anything past this point, I am warning you that it is a waste of your time, and not very good writing. Check back later this weekend for a better post.

Joelle

Okay, so you are still here? In it for the long haul, huh? Just as bored as me? I could totally go to sleep right now since it is 11:14, but my fingers just have this need to type away because I haven't been able to this whole week due to the whole computer is in the hospital thing. So I am going to play a game. It's called, "What is the Most Random Thing Currently on Joelle's Floor?"
Here are your options: DELL Owner's manual, Microsoft Office software box, khaki colored jacket, golden ballerina slippers, black heels, yellow and green underwear with cassette tapes printed on them, the book All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten, or a computer microphone? I did not list everything on my floor because that would take at least an hour and if I did that, I might as well clean up the floor.

Here is another game. It's called "What are the old people doing over the fence?" I just peeked out my blinds. What did I see? A) old people smoking on the patio, B) someone in their nightgown in the second floor bedroom, C) one of the employees chatting with a co-worker, or D) the next door cat sitting on the wooden wishing well?

In case you didn't know, I have to check on the old people twice a day to make sure they're okay. I always check at night right before I go to sleep, and I used to check in the morning but lately I have forgotten. More I am peeking out of the blinds to see what the weather is like and what should I wear? rather than how are the senior citizens doing.

Maybe I lied when I said I could type for two hours straight. It's only been about fifteen minutes since I said that. Maybe instead of writing I should check Lenay Olsen's channel on YouTube to see if she's posted any new videos. Or maybe I should go read Her Bad Mother's Basement and learn some new secrets about strangers. Speaking of which, I don't know how psychiatrists can function, listening to all those problems. It would eat me up. That's probably why I was a bad RA. I can't just listen to someone's problems, give some advice, and then stop thinking about it.

Speaking of advice, I have found that people never take mine. It's okay, I'm not that offended, but I secretly say "I told you so" in my head. And then it's real annoying when the problems they could have avoided had they taken my advice happen anyway. When we were in high school, something happened that caused my sister to admit that she should always take my advice. I know, it was priceless. She only did for about two months, then she went to her old ways of not listening. So in a sense she kind of deserved that guy who swallowed marbles and left artificial flowers on her car windshield while she was at school.

One time I was trying to give my mom advice while I was helping her clean out her old house. She had this huge, and I mean GIGANTIC quilt collection, but she didn't take my advice and still has that ratty old green wool blanket from the seventies (btw, she stored it under my bed at her house--go figure).

Also, when I advised my father that he drop dial up and quit his AOL subscription, did he listen? Seriously, who still has AOL? I mean, I know it was uber cool when I was in seventh grade, but not so much anymore. At least my mother listened to the benefits of having an iPod.

Okay, I really am going to quit now. Sorry, I overestimated my abilities. Talk to you in the morning.

P.S. Does anybody remember PepperAnn? She roller bladed to class and was too cool for seventh grade. Also, Doug and Quail Man?