Sunday, September 26, 2010

Make It Rain

Friday, 9/24/10  8:23pm, my bedroom

I went to my Grandma's funeral today. Life right now just feels so surreal, like none of it can be true. Because how did I get to this? How did I end up here? The parts of life that I hate the most are the parts where I don't get to choose. Sure, I can pick what college I go to, but I can't decide when death will take my family. And I can choose which house I live in, but I can't decide who is going to love me. The parts that mean the most to me are the parts I have no control over. They are unexpected. Having faith that God loves me when I feel like he has abandoned me is tough. Believing that this is all part of a beautiful plan is not easy. But I still have a tiny sliver of hope. I've written this before, but I'll write it again: My hope is like a single blade of grass poking through the crusty dirt clods in a barren dirt field. It is tiny, nearly invisible, but it is still there.

Make it rain, God. Make it rain.

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