Scandalous winking emoticon

Every once in a while I think about the inappropriateness that is the winking emoticon. You know, this guy  ; )  Who knew a semi-colon could be so forward? I mean, e-mail this message to a co-worker:

We need to get together sometime. 

and it seems totally legit. Like maybe you need to crunch some numbers or come up with a strategic plan. Or maybe even gossip about the boss.

But send this e-mail:

We need to get together sometime ; )

and I feel the message changes entirely. Like maybe that one-eyed smiley face is checking you out. Or it stole a private moment from you. That's the thing with winks. They're non-consensual. Someone winks at you, and you start to feel all these feelings or start to think new thoughts. Consider hugs or kisses or pats on the knee. You allow all of these with the proximity of your body. But not a wink. Someone can do that from across the room.

Real life winks cause delusions. I once had a person who winked at me frequently, and I came to believe they loved me or something. I was sorely mistaken. Just think of what emoticon winks might cause.  ; ) That face stares at you forever. You start to over analyze it. Because why didn't they just use the smiley face? = ) or : )   Surely that could have conveyed the emotion the author of the e-mail was trying to express. But no. They chose a wink. Which means something entirely different.