Conversations with my sister

While in the car, when talking about the new detective story I’m writing

Jess: Could you put ninjas in it?

Me: Well, I haven’t. But I could if I wanted. Though so far it’s been pretty realistic fiction.

Jess: Ninjas aren’t exactly imaginary, you know. They do exist.

When asked to help come up with a motive

Me: This guy hires the detective because he suspects that someone in his nanotechnology company is leaking secrets to foreign countries.

Jess: Nanotechnology, huh? Maybe like, there could be a microchip. And you implant it into people’s brains to make them not feel hungry. Like a weight loss technique. Only the suspect’s trying to use them for the greater good and he wants to send the microchip to people in Africa so they aren’t starving. That would be a twist.

While at the store choosing fleece fabric to make a dog bed

Jess: What do you think of this brown?

Me: I like it. It’ll be good, because it will hide the dog fur.

Jess: But is it an ugly brown?

Me: No. It’ll be perfect. It’s the exact same color as your dog’s fur.

Jess: My dog is black.

Me: Oh.

While at my house, cutting fabric for her dog bed

Jess: Do you have a yardstick?

Me: No. But I have a ruler.

Jess: Do you have a long ruler?

Me: Jess, all rulers are the same length. 12 inches.

Jess: No, at my work we have some rulers that are 18 inches.

Me: Clearly they are overcompensating for something.

While at my house, looking at piece of artwork I’m creating

Jess: How did you do that? Put the words on top of the picture?

Me: It’s called PowerPoint. You just save it as a JPEG. I put a text box over the image.

Jess: No, but how did you get that flavor of text?

Me: You mean font?

Jess: Yeah, whatever.

Me: No, I like that better. Flavor of text, like you can taste it in your mouth when you're reading it.

While looking at a lomography Polaroid at my house, of a little girl in the rain

Jess: Who is this? Is this you? I know it’s not me.

Me: No, that’s you. You don’t remember that pink jacket?

Jess: But that’s not our house in the background.

Me: That was at Grandma and Grandpa’s.

Jess: Seriously?

Me: No. That’s a photo of a complete stranger.