The Perfect Adventure and Falling on My Face

This is probably the last time I will have access to internet for like, seven days. Once I leave my sister's and go to the great cavernous abyss that is my parent's house, I will likely not have the chance to do anything on-line. I am pretty sure they are still rocking the dial-up like they were in 1998, so frustrations mount and I give up before my e-mail log-in even loads. Additionally, my dad is like a computer Nazi and from past experience I found it hard to even get fifteen minutes with the computer. I would have stayed at my house, but my mother seems to think that if I hadn't made a break for it when I did, I would have been stuck there all next week and miss Christmas.

Pretending like I hadn't been able to drive to Jess' yesterday, I could have executed the perfectly brilliant adventure that Jess had planned for me. I called her, telling her how we had five inches of fresh powder, and she says "Jo, I have the perfect adventure!" She then proceeded to tell me how I had forty minutes to pack my bag and get to the Carts bus that leaves at noon. From there, I would need to take the bus to Salem, and then take bus number eleven, which would deposit me one block from her house. She had checked all the routes and bus times and everything. It sounded like an exciting plan, because I have never ridden any bus in Oregon by myself. The thrill of public transportation! I was already to drag my Adidas duffel bag through the snow to get to the bus stop, but then I called Carts and they said they weren't running on Friday or Saturday, thus, the plan was foiled.

Eventually I was desperate enough and deemed it safe enough to attempt an escape, and I did so. It wasn't snowing when I left, but then fifteen minutes down the road it was like I was taking a ride inside a dryer with a brand new white towel. Snow was flying at me in big chunks like soft lint balls and it made me dizzy. That ended and I got to Jess's house okay. We went shopping because neither of us had done any Christmas shopping, I cooked french toast for her, Travis, and Sara for dinner (Travis made bacon--YUMMY, and Jess made diced potatoes), we went in the hot tub, and that leads me to ridiculous event number three in the past 48 hours.

So you all know I dislocated my knee cap in the parking lot of Winco, fell into a puddle of black gritty mud, and was quite pissed about it. Well, the next day (yesterday) I was in the bathroom quickly gathering up all my stuff to leave, still wearing bagging PJ pants, when I stepped backwards, tripped on a pantleg, and dislocated my kneecap again. This time I fell directly toward the bathtub. If I had fallen backwards instead of forwards, I would have conked my head, gotten a concussion, and still be lying there until Natalie found me a day later. As fate would have it, I fell forward. This means I had to use my arms to prevent my face from smashing into the hard tub, so I threw out both my arms and landed roughly. My elbow still hurts really badly on my left arm, and my right arm is really sore. I thought I'd have impressive bruises as evidence, but I rolled up my sleeve to show Jess and nothing was there. Not to worry, because I would still have a chance for an additional fall and consequencing bruises. After getting out of the hot tub, I put one foot on the step, which had become dislodged from it's spot (thanks to Jess' Rottweiler who kept coming up on it to visit us). With one leg on unstable ground and the other one in the air, I did an impressive flip, rolled on the steps, and landed on the cement patio in some mud. We got into the house and I checked out my upper leg. Not two minutes had passed and I already had this gross raised bump. I checked on it fifteen minutes later and it had already turned blue. This morning it's kind of purple. It hurts like hell. So here is the gist of it: I dislocated my right knee cap twice within two days, but my knee is not sore at all. Instead, I have two sore arms and a freaking sore leg with an impressive bruise.

I think there may be a mathematical pattern here. I fell once the first day and twice the second day. That means I should fall three times today. Kind of makes me want to sit on the couch the whole day.

I probably should leave my sister's house before my mom calls for the fourth time wondering where I am. I will likely be bored out of my mind considering she has virtually no internet and only three fuzzy TV channels, but I did go to the library before leaving town. I checked out five books and four magazines, so hopefully it will last me. Then I can just sit without the possibility of falling on my face again.

Merry Christmas. I think you're cute ; ) Yeah, that was for you.