Okay, so I finally dragged myself onto the bandwagon and read Twilight. I admit, I wanted to know what it was all about. Are you ready? Do you want to know what it was all about? Edward's eyes. You cannot read two pages of Twilight and not encounter some reference to Edward's eyes at least four times.
For example:
he measured me with his eyes
his eyes turned somber
he dazzled me with his gaze
I saw a trace of humor in his eyes
his eyes were fierce
his eyes slid back to mine
he peered from under his lashes
our eyes held
he continued to stare at me with penetrating eyes
his gentle eyes
watchful eyes
anxious gaze
eyes were suddenly furious
he rolled his eyes
he was staring at me, that same inexplicable look of frustration in his eyes
shrewd eyes
his eyes burned with sincerity
eyes opened with surprise
eyes were scrutinizing my reaction
unfair smoldering of the eyes
I was disoriented again by the force of his gold-colored eyes
playful eyes
his eyes were liquid topaz
his eyes managed to smolder even though it was dark
even though his eyes were shut, they burned to my soul
although his eyes had been ripped out of their sockets and were lying in a bloody heap on the ground, they managed to smolder
Okay, so I added the very last one. But that's it. You can see that Edward has very talented eyes.
Now, I admit, a vampire in love with a mortal is an interesting concept. Your true love wants to suck your blood. The idea is good. Stephanie Myers' writing? Not so much. The vocabulary and sentence structure is lame (and okay, maybe mine is too, but at least I know it and can recognize when an author does/does not do a good job). The chapters are endlessly long. The plot is slow. I found myself skipping ahead trying to look for the good parts. After chapter four I took a break and watched both of the Twilight movies, to end the pain.
Edward's eyes always make him look like he's on crack.
But I tell you, I finish what I start, so I read the whole book through, even if it took me awhile. And okay, maybe the last two chapters were actually a little intense, even though I knew how it ended.
And I will confess to you, even though Stephanie Myers sucks, and Robert Pattinson's eyes are creepy and not at all hot or smolderng in his Edward portrayal, I may read another Twilight book, or watch another movie. Just you know, to see if Myers improves at all.
And whatever, she is making loads of money off of her crappy writing. I shouldn't be dissing. I am not making loads of money off of my crappy writing, but now I do have hope. Hope that it can be done. All I need is a character with smoldering eyes.
P.S. Ironically, the book I am reading now also has a main character named Edward. It's The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo, who is a much better writer than Stephanie Myers.
P.S.S. When I was reading Twilight, my roommate would call through my shut door "Edwaaard!" in this accent-y voice, which was hilarious.
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