Actual High School Entries

When I think about high school, I typically think back that I had a good time. I was looking through my old journal, looking for record of these good times. It was then that I realized how big of a dork I really was. I mean, I know I wasn't cool. But just listen to this.

On 9/7/00 I wrote "It whomps monkey butt." I'm sorry? What? Did I really use those words?

And in case you were wondering, Jake* from "A True High School Story", first made an appearance on 9/16/00. 

Then on 9/18/00 I opened my entry by saying "Heylo!" Like that was cool. Not hi. Not hey. Heylo! I blame it on my dad. I am pretty sure he says that sometimes when he answers the phone. In case you were curious, I no longer start any of my journal entries with a greeting anymore. None of that "Dear Diary" crap. I don't sign me name "love Joelle" either. It's mostly like "eff it all." Kidding. Sort of.

On 9/18/00 I also "wrote a made-up terror story that happened to me. It involved a piano, 3rd floor window, NY, and Carnegie Hall" in health class. What the hell?

Unfortunately, 11/12/00 was basically the last day I ever wrote more than two positive sentences about myself. I turned 15 that day, and wrote about how "I will change the world in which I live," and how "I have great hair." I mean, have you seen me recently? I stopped spending more than three minutes on my hair six months ago. I had a lot of hope then (when I was 15 I mean, not six months ago).

The next entry didn't occur until four whole months later on 3/15/01 where I opened saying "This is a real downer compared to the last page." It leaves me to wonder if the downward spiral began in March, or if the reason I hadn't written for four months was because high school was super crappy. Maybe it whomped monkey butt. I don't know. There's no record of it.

A really astute observation I made was on 10/7/01, when I wrote "HIS BROWN EYES. OMG! And that nose. I don't know why I like his nose, because if it was just a nose without a face it wouldn't be so good, but on him it is so freaking sexy!" Whoa, there. Calm down. It's just a nose. And yeah, noses without faces typically aren't super attractive.

But I'd like to jump back to September 21, 2001. That was the day I went home and cried, because high school girls are mean to each other.

There we are, sitting in class, thinking about what to do for our history project. I lucked out by getting to be with my friends C. and P. This other girl I'm sort of friends with, M., is in my group too. 

We were talking about costumes for our skit, and M. says to me "Joelle, you can wear my prom dress." Because you know, I'm supposed to play the queen or whatever. I look at M. and have to think fast, because she's a lot fatter than me and I know her dress would be way too big for me. Maybe if I stuffed a pillow in there with me. How can I politely decline without hurting her feelings?


"I'm pretty sure it'll be too long," I reply. Which is totally true. She's like six inches taller than me.


And then she says, of all the things to say, "Yeah. And no offense, but you're too flat."


What I'm thinking is: first, duh. And second, it's not really me who has the problem. I'm just not fat enough to fit in your dress, which would be 9 sizes too big for me.


But that's what she said, in our classroom, in front of other people. How rude! But that's not my only problem. I've got another one. It's this total hunk of hotness that is in my first period Spanish 2 class. His name is...


So even though I have memories of having a great time in high school, there seems to be no proof of said recollections. Maybe I'm missing a journal...?