Wedding Stuff

I've decided I really need to get my ish together so I can be a good maid of honor. Mainly, I need to plan two bridal showers and a bachelorette party for my sister. Plus get my dress hemmed. I've decided to make cupcakes for at least one of the bridal showers. Decorating them will probably take like 5 hours, so for the second bridal shower I'll likely feel overwhelmed and just buy a 12.99 cake from Winco (sorry Jess). My sister has registered for four blenders and three vacuums, among other things. Don't ask me to explain it. Maybe she wants to give me one since she knows I'll never get to register for anything, unless it's for the baby shower of my illegitimate child.

I really think you should get to register for gifts when you get your first place, and not when you get married. I mean, I need stuff too. For example, my roommates and I hadn't really vacuumed our floor until this summer, when I finally bucked up and bought the cheapest vacuum I could find. And silverware? Yeah, it doesn't match. I mean, when you move to your first place you are way excited if someone gives you a cookie sheet and a spatula. Now, imagine myself at 43 when I get married. Will not be as excited about the cookie sheet.

Today my sister told me all the places they were going to go on their honeymoon. And okay, I could go to the aviation museum and look at the Spruce Goose myself (I mostly am interested in the Spruce Goose only because it made an appearance on my favorite childhood cartoon show, Tailspin. That's where I first learned about it). And okay, I could grab some friends and go to a posh resort if I really wanted. But I got really envious that I am going to miss out on the dinner train.

Apparently there is this train near Hood River that you can have dinner on, and they feed you wine and cheese and crap, but they also have murder mystery dinners, which would be complete entertainment because I could kill off the irritating and non-recycling passenger who stole my extra pillow. How perfect would it be if you went on a murder mystery dinner on your honeymoon, and then you discovered your new wife/husband was the murderer? Because wouldn't that make you just a bit leery of the rest of your trip, even though it was pretend? It would make the perfect story. This man marries this woman, finds out she is the murderer during the mystery game on the train, and the new bride laughs it off. "Oh, darling, I am just so clever. You never knew it was me." She gives a feisty little wink, and then when you wake up in your hotel room the next morning you find out that the man staying in 108B is missing. Because your wife actually did murder him since he had some dirt on her. Mainly, that your new wife is a gold digger, and only married you for your life insurance policy, because she plans on killing you too! I am getting out of control with this. I need to stop.