I am missing The Office

...due to the fact that we don't have TV. Well, we have several TVs, you just can't watch TV on them. Only movies. This could be good for me because then I wouldn't stay up late (read 10 pm). But really, there are plenty of other distractions to find around the house. And I'll just end up watching The Office online tomorrow. Oh my gosh. I just realized today is Wednesday, not Thursday. Whoops. Well, the same thing will apply, unless you invite me over to watch The Office on your TV. Now I feel silly because I seriously thought it started in like, 32 minutes. Uhhh....anyway.

I started making invitations for my sister's bridal shower (say congrats Joelle, you are getting it together!) I have to go back to the store tomorrow and buy a different kind of paper because the ink won't dry on the pearlized kind that I purchased. Then I just have to put write my return address on over 60 envelopes since I don't have those handy sticker things, address over 60 envelopes, and make over 60 invitations (well, print them and them stamp them in red ink with this floral stamp I bought). I'm going away to the beach this weekend for a Girl's Gone Wild and Totally Drunk party (okay, so it's a girl's weekend away with teachers...but only the fun ones, because I don't hang with lame peeps). They think we are going to go pick up shells, watch movies, sip margaritas, and play Apples to Apples. What they don't know is that I am going to bring over 60 blank envelopes with me to see if I can recruit some help, considering these things should've been in the mail yesterday. Suckers.

I had a meeting with a guy today about my retirement. Talk about grown up things to worry about. Let's call this guy Jim (because that's his name)is all telling me about how PERS works, and I'm all "So where does this dough sit until I'm about to kick the bucket?" Because I want to know how much interest it's going to be making. So he's telling me some answers. We start to talk about how much I should start saving. "How old are you?" Jim asks. I say "21...22." Because it hasn't really sunk in that I'm 22, even though I will be 23 next month. He starts explaing what a "return" is, and I'm like "I'm not an idiot. Just because I'm 22 doesn't mean I don't know what a return is. Everybody knows what that means." The dude starts to explain what happens when you retire, and how the district has to pay you in one lump sum. I'm not a moron, I know what would happen. The government would freakin' tax you up the whazoo unless you put that money in an IRA and withdrew it a little at a time. Then he's like "And you don't want to take out your retirement money early, because then...." And I'm all "hold up man, I watch Suze Orman, I know what's what. There's no need in recitin' the ABCs to me." So then he gives me this little quiz to see how risky I am with my money, and what kind of a portfolio I should build. But I already know the answer. I AM NOT RISKY AT ALL. I keep my money in my little pink piggy pank and kiss it every morning. So we decided to start with minimal risk stuff and work up to different types of stocks when I feel more comfortable with it. Because I know, no risk, no reward. Then I said, "Well, Jimbo, I'll catch you later, home slice." And he said "Peace out," and took his briefcase.