I accidentally ate meatballs instead of wheatballs

If you like to stalk people and know every intimate detail of their life, you're gonna like this post. It's all about food that I eat. Exhilarating topic, right? 

You probably know I'm a vegetarian. If this is news to you, I don't know what moss covered rock you've been sleeping under. It's not like I write strongly worded vegetarian posts, or rag on people about their meat consumption, but I know I've mentioned my stance a time or two. If you want to eat a hamburger in front of me, that's fine. Just don't expect me to grill you one. The title of this post is a complete and utter lie, and was meant for shock value to those close to me (did you believe it?)

Right now I want to give mad props to 8th Continent light vanilla soy milk. I've never been much of a milk drinker, mostly because I don't like how it tastes. I used to buy milk in the smallest quantities and only pour it on cereal or use it when baking. Chocolate fiend that I am, milk is not its necessary match. Several weeks ago, I picked up a carton of soy milk on a whim. I think they were out of skim. I selected 8th Continent Light Vanilla soy milk, and I don't think I can ever go back. This stuff actually tastes good. I've had soy milk before and thought it was a bit strange, but I'm tellin' ya, the Greek gods drank this stuff on Mount Olympus. Right along with their gold wrapped Ferrero Rocher chocolates. It makes my cereal delicious. Try it. Even if you have previously hated soy milk. Give the udders of a cow a break.

My favorite part about being a vegetarian is listening to people tell me all the ways I might get sick or die.

People are always harping on me about how they don't think I eat enough protein.  Next time someone tells me this, I'm going to ask them how many grams of protein they think they should eat daily. Do they even know? According to my incredibly reliable internet research and multiple cross checking, I have found that for a person of my size, I should be consuming 35 to 60 grams of protein daily depending on activity level. And okay, I did some math and I average about 32 grams of protein per day. So I could probably stand to have a bit more.

Normally I'm a Morning Star person, not a Boca person

I know exactly where the problem lies: breakfast. Call me a Quaker and get me a funny hat, because I love oatmeal. I can eat it six days a week and be happy. But oatmeal only has about five grams of protein per serving. For about a month I tried to do protein shakes for breakfast every morning, but I really missed my oatmeal and relapsed. I think my problem was that I went all or nothing. I've devised a new breakfast plan due to my discovery of Boca brand bruschetta tomato basil parmesan veggie patties. They are quite tasty. What I'm trying is one of the patties, a scrambled egg, and a bit or red bell pepper to add a kick. Combined, this is 19 grams of protein. I cooked the eggs and prepared dishes for two days in advance, because I absolutely cannot be bothered to wake up early enough to make breakfast. A 50 second zap in the microwave is all I've got time for. So now you can quit telling me Ima 'bout to die.

P.S. I Googled it and recipes for vegetarian "wheatballs" actually exist. It's not something I plan on making any time soon. Or ever, really--unless the No Meat Athlete invites me over to cook.