If David and Goliath had played ping pong instead

Last week during Bible Club, I read the kids the story of David and Goliath. I had assumed that many kids would already know the story, but considering most of them are third graders, they hadn't heard it before. The story may or may not have terrified the lone Kindergartner we had. Here are some things that were said during the lesson.


Kid: Ewww, look at Goliath's mouth! He's missing some teeth!
Me: And that's why you should always brush twice a day and floss.

Me: And Saul said, 'May God be with you.'
Kid: Was that like the first Star Wars?
Me: You mean like, 'may the force be with you'? Yes, exactly. Because God is the Ultimate Force.

Me: David took off Saul's armor because it was too heavy and he couldn't move in it. So he went to face Goliath in just his shepherd's clothes.
Kid: I hope his clothes were bullet proof.
Me: Kevlar wasn't invented yet. It wouldn't have mattered because they didn't have guns back then. Just swords and spears and javelins and slingshots.

Me: It was a one-on-one fight. If Goliath won, the Israelites would become slaves of the Philistines. If David won, then the Philistines would become the Israelite's slaves.
Kid: Why didn't they just have a table tennis tournament instead?
Me: Ping Pong? That sounds like a nicer way to solve an argument. Next time you are fighting with your sister, do that instead of calling her names.

Me: And then David took Goliath's sword and cut off his head.
Girl: Ewwww!
Boy: Awesome!!

***

We also played a really fun game that I invented that morning while brushing my teeth. It's called "Nighttime Shepherd." One kid gets blind folded and stands in the middle of the room. He's the shepherd. He can't see because it's nighttime and night vision goggles haven't been invented yet. The other kids trample around on all fours and say "baaah!" so that the shepherd knows where they are. But those pesky sheep keep on moving locations. Once the shepherd tags you, you have to go to the pen and lay down. This was the most hilarious thing to watch. I wish I had a video of it. We had one Ninja Shepherd who pulled all these lightning fast moves while blindfolded. He caught all of the sheep in under three minutes.