Is that even legal? What I'm doing now

On Monday morning I am going back to the exact school where I used to teach. I am going back to the very place that tore me, chewed me, and peeled me to a thin thread like a piece of string cheese. It's the place where I stopped believing in myself.

This time it is different. I'm going on my terms. Or rather, I think I'm going on God's terms. Because this really wasn't my idea.

I have started a before school Bible club that will take place in a public school classroom. My favorite question that people ask me about this is "Is that legal?" Apparently I am just doing all I can to get sued or hated on these days. The vengeful scratches on the hood of my car prove it.

I am meeting with students from 8am to 9am Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday before school starts and I will basically be running a children's church complete with worship music, Bible stories, memory verses, and prayer. This is beyond exciting for me, because part of the reason I walked away from my job was because I couldn't handle being inconspicuous about God. That place needs divine intervention. It doesn't matter if the teachers work 12 hours a day, reach out to parents, or bring test scores up to 85% passing. If God is not in the hearts of those children, they are no better off than before all of those efforts. This was never so evident until I became that teacher.

It took me a college degree, a $40k per year job with good health insurance, and a home mortgage to realize that what you have is worth shit if God is not present in your daily life. Or rather, I should say, if you are not present in his life. He hasn't gone anywhere at all; it was me who decided not to show up.

After realizing that I couldn't live that way any longer, I walked away from my job, surrendering any notion of a happy life to God. Let him figure it out. In case you didn't know, the day I resigned from my job, I asked my principal if he would let me teach a small class of 10 students for free. I wanted to create the dream class--the small group of kids who would make a difference. Legalities and HR said no. I was relieved, because who wants to work a 40 hour a week job for free? Not me, but I felt that was what God was asking me to do.

Sanity check, I know right?

The summer transpired and with it came a new vision: the one of boldly and intentionally speaking of Christ in public schools. Thus, the plans for the Before School Bible Club was formed, or as I refer to it, the BBC (sometimes I like to think up ideas while using a British accent). At first the BBC was just an idea, and I figured I would begin the work for it late September, after students and teachers had a chance to settle in. Then October came and I did nothing.

The idea was tugging at my heart, but I wasn't sure if it was something I really wanted to commit to, as I was still actively searching for a full time job that involved a paycheck. Many full time jobs take place during school hours, and this fact makes it hard to be two places at once.

The second weekend in October I went with a group of twenty-somethings from my church on a prayer retreat. It was then that I really got the kick in my butt that there was absolutely nothing preventing me from making this vision happen. I am sure that confessing my vision to the group is what catapulted me into action. I need accountability. No one has asked me about it since that weekend, but voicing the plan out loud made me want to get started. It wasn't a secret hiding in my brain anymore. People knew.

The following week seemed so purposeful, because my earlier feeling that God meant for me to teach for free came true. I met Azarious. Suddenly, there was a student who needed someone willing to educate him sans compensation. I also contacted my old school to explain my idea for Bible club.

Getting from point A (being my idea for the BBC) to point B (being having an actual space for the club, for it to be approved, for it to be supported, and for it to have actual students enrolled) was not an easy task. I will spare you details of my phone calls, e-mails, legal research, and fired up passion that I didn't know my heart contained.

The day is near. On Monday at 8am I will be meeting children, and I will be sharing with them the hope of Jesus Christ. I won't have to talk in code or hide what I believe. The Truth is here, and it won't shut up.

I know that not all readers of The Real Pretend believe in God or think what I'm doing is worthwhile. Some of you might be real sick of my "God posts" and wish that I would go back to writing funny stories about my sister making me ride a barrel down a gravel hill as a child. Hang with me. If you are a person who believes in prayer, I would very much appreciate it if you could send up some words for me and the group of children who will be meeting this week. I am ready to see transformation in that rough-and-tumble school, and I believe it will happen.

here by grace,
Joelle