If I had a butler

I would make him:
*make my bed every morning
*prepare my breakfast and pack my lunch
* warm up my car
*grade papers and do lesson plans
*clean out my car every other day because I am a slob in it
*do my laundry
*take care of all my S-K e-mails because I get about 45 of them a day. That's 225 a week, which is too many.
*iron my pants
*do all my paper work (insurance, bills, TSPC, everything I've been putting off)
*clean my house

Now that I think about it, I remember some show (MTV, TLC ?) about this butler placement guy. He was in charge of butlers and nannies and helped them find jobs, and you would watch the employees go on their interviews and see what they did during the day. I totally Google searched it but couldn't find anything. Really, I'd just need a butler for about two hours a day. 6:30-7:30 for the morning and 7-8 in the evening. Tell me your rate if you are reasonable. Suit and tie not required.