...they will fashion them into daggers

I am more or less going to have a heart attack. Or maybe I'll get so freaked out that I'll pack a small brown suitcase, grab a wad of cash, and go MIA for two weeks because all of a sudden I am UTTERLY TERRIFIED of the first week of school. And then I will get fired for not showing up. But it will be because I am puking into a toilet at a trashy truck stop on my way to Canada, since just thinking that I will have kids for six hours next Wednesday puts a huge jolt in my stomach.

Basically, I should change careers.

Man, I am so sick right now. It may be because:
1) my classroom furniture is still not in place because the entire layout of the room is contingent upon which of the Internet plug ins will work,
2) I won't know which Internet port I can use until the freaking technology people come to the school (hello? There are two work days until the kids come),
3) I don't have my math teacher guides or any math supplies because, while it has been ordered for me, it HAS NOT ARRIVED.
4) I don't have any student text books
5) There are 6 hours to fill next Wednesday. And Thursday. And Friday.
6) other teachers have frightened me with their comments such as "the students look at you like fresh meat" and "don't give them paperclips, they will fashion them into daggers" and "these kids will eat you alive if you don't lay down the law" and "last year a new teacher left in January because she just couldn't take it."

But then I figure, God put me here, right? I am at this school for a reason. And sure, I may be tested, and I might cry everyday at 3:30, but why would God put me at a school if I was only going to get so stressed out that I quit and leave in January? Unless of course, all along I wasn't meant to be a teacher and God has arranged for me to have the class from hell, so that I will quit and follow some other career path that I am supposed to be doing. I don't really think that's the case, but who knows?

Besides, I don't really think I am a quitter. Even if it sucks, I usually stick it out. Here are a list of things I have quit at:
1) gymnastics (but that was because my knee dislocated all the time and kept having to be on crutches every four weeks).
2) public school at the middle school level (but that was because my teacher was an idiot).
3) tennis (but it was only a trial summer thing, to see if I even liked it, which I didn't).
4) piano lessons (but I did do it for five years, until jr. year of high school consumed my life).
5) the honors program at college (but it was only because I was going to graduate early and couldn't take the thesis and seminar classes while being in the Ed program).
6) all new year's resolutions since 1998 (but who doesn't?).

And okay, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a gymnast who plays piano and tennis, but mostly I'm over it.

I just hope teaching won't be something I want to quit at.