I parked on a squirrel

I keep checking http://www.badparking.wordpress.com/ because I am pretty sure that I will end up in it one day. I'll be browsing through and see a car that looks remarkably similar to mine, and under the photo will be all these rude and sarcastic comments. I am a bad parker. Pretty sure it is an inherited trait. I cannot parallel park unless the space is as big as a school bus. I would rather walk five blocks than parallel park. It's a good thing it wasn't part of my driver's test. I usually park two feet away from the curb, or on the curb, or occasionally on the sidewalk. My front license plate is smashed because I've ran it into the front barrier thing in parking spots. Even though I am a bad parker, I am not really the worst driver. Well, I've never gotten caught. A police officer has never pulled me over, I've never gotten a ticket, and I've never been in an accident. Watch, just because I am writing this I will rear-end someone tomorrow.

Here is a list of the books that I am currently reading:

Queen of Babble Gets Hitched by Meg Cabot (so far the loud mouth has gotten engaged, slept--and only slept--with her fiance's best friend, re-decorated the shop she works at, and has designed a wedding dress for a skanky crack whore).

a la Cart, the secret lives of grocery shoppers by Hillary Carlip (Hillary has collected discarded shopping lists, then she imagines what the person who dropped them might look like, creates a story about them, and then she dresses up like that character with the help of a make-up artist and poses in a store. Good stuff. It's basically a picture book but with some words). Go here to watch a video that gives you the inside scoop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZMJONyx-SU

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon (so far the autistic boy has discovered a dead dog and is trying to solve the mystery. He also knows a lot of prime numbers and hates the color yellow. Sounds kind of boring but it is totally not. This one was recommended by an author (Marc Acito) at the writing conference I went to).

My goal is to finish all of these by Sunday night. I'll let you know if it happens.

P.S. I have exciting news that I am not allowed to blog about in case you are a reader who does not have the right level of clearance. But if you are my friend on Facebook then you probably already know. So check back in a few days.