Rottstiff or Mastweiler?

I present to you a Saturday evening phone conversation with my sister, Jessamy. We talk about a lot of important things.

Me: Hey. What are you doing right now?
Jess: Watching Animal Hoarders. This woman has 97 dogs.
Me: 97 dogs?!
Jess: Yeah. And she keeps them all inside her trailer. But they're small dogs.
Me: Because that makes it okay. But 97? Are they all sick and starving?
Jess: No. But the woman is basically broke.
Me: Is this show sponsored by the same people who air Hoarders? Like it's Hoarders: Animal Edition?
Jess: I don't think so, because it's on Animal Planet.


Blah blah blah we talk about some other stuff.

Jess: Sarah was at a drive through coffee place and on the window they were advertising Mastiffs for sale. Only she didn't get the number, so she told me where it was and I drove there to get the number.
(Please keep in mind that my sister already owns 3 giant Rottweilers. The biggest one weighs more than me. By a good fifteen pounds.)
Me: So did you call?
Jess: Yeah.
Me: What does Travis think of all this?
(Travis is forever having to tell his wife no to her desires for more pets. If she had it her way, she'd already have a fainting goat, an alpaca, a pot bellied pig, a miniature donkey, and like six dogs).
Jess: Well, he said in like two years. After we get our second house. The plan is to get a female Mastiff and then breed it with Squishy.
(Squishy is the 120 pound Rottweiler that was the offspring of their other two Rottweilers. He was named Squishy as a puppy because he was so fat.)
Me: Is there a large market for Mastiffs bred with Rottweilers?
Jess: Oh yeah. There's a breeder on the west coast who only breeds the two together. If we did this, then we'd have a Mastweiler.
Me: A Mastweiler? Why not a Rottstiff?
Jess: That's what Travis said.
Me: Well Rottstiff sounds a lot better. (I repeat it again with a British accent). I would actually name one of the puppies Rottstiff. It sounds like he would attend an all-boys prep school and wear a tailored jacket with the school emblem stitched on.
Jess: But then of course we'd have to keep one of the Mastiff-Rottweiler puppies. To keep the legacy going.
Me: So then you'd have three Rottweilers, a Mastiff, and one Rottstiff?
Jess: Yep.
Me: Well, whatever. As long as you don't appear on an episode of Animal Hoarders.

Jess' first Rottweiler was a girl named Cinderly.

Then Cinderly grew up and met her husband, Thor.

Cinderly got knocked up and had a lot of puppies, including the chubby Squishy.

Jess would hold Squishy, even though he was a fatty.

Pretty soon Squishy outgrew both his parents. It gave his father a complex.