Surgery Update

I know I left you hanging last Thursday. Here you've probably been thinking I've been drugged up and can't even crawl to my computer to type an incoherent sentence, such as this one: i djdust cnt cee stght vry wll. Ndee grugs!

Not true. I had my surgery on Friday morning, but really I should just call it an extraction. I mean, I think I can only call it a surgery because I had an IV. All I really have to show for it is the nasty green bruise on the inside of my arm, where I was stuck with a needle. It sort of looks like maybe I shot up some heroin in a dark alley way or something. But I'm totally clean. I didn't even take any Vicodin.

I was up and active on Saturday morning, where upon I went to my sister's house to watch Lenay host Ten on Top on cable TV. Then my sis hit the county fair (for free) like we do every year. The county fair is really not that awesome, but she and I hold it dear to our hearts as we spent a week of our childhood summers there every year, like camp. (For a funny related story, read Criminal Intentions).

And I've been eating tons! The first day it was a lot of bananas and chocolate pudding, (which sort of sounds like a PMSing monkey?) but now it's just the regular food, plus the pudding. So much for summer diets. Ha!

Maybe you're like, okay Joelle, enough of your weekend and pudding cups, what was the tooth yanking like? Because you're dying to know. Basically I sat in this hydraulic chair and suspiciously eyed the tropical plant sitting in the corner while the two assistants swabbed me and hooked me up to heart monitor and blood pressure machines. Then the doc stuck me with the IV needle. I was lying there, staring up at the ceiling, not feeling sleepy or anything. I don't even remember shutting my eyes.

But the next thing I know, I'm in a dimmed room with my eyes shut and gauze in my mouth and I hear the assistant telling me to try to wake up, which is the last thing I want to do. I mean, can't she just let me sleep? I kind of blink my eyes open a bit, and about every four minutes the blood pressure arm band contracts and displays my numbers. After I manage to get my eyes open, the assistant's all "we need to try to get your blood pressure up before we can let you go home." Which you know, will be basically impossible since I have hypotension (see post Open Up Nice and Wide).

She tells me to wiggle my toes. I do. It doesn't help. I ask her what my numbers are. It's like 110 over 68 or something, which is basically the highest it's ever been. But it's not enough. So I start to do the bicycle move with my legs. I'm lying there, thinking that the nurse probably thinks I'm high on drugs, but she doesn't understand. If I have to lie there until my blood pressure goes up, I'll never go home. And I really want to sleep on my couch. After I do a few Lance Armstrong moves, the band contracts and my numbers are up.

They wheel my out, my mom drives me home, and I conk out on the couch. Oh yeah, I forgot. The entire left side of my face was numb and felt like rubber. So I poked at it a bit and it felt funny. But all that wore off within about four hours. Then I finally got to eat. So you know, super exciting.