What's in my purse

I used to say "You know you're an activities director/RA when you walk around with a roll of masking tape on your arm and a marker in your back pocket." When do you know you're a teacher? Let me list the contents of my purse:

wallet
cell phone
concealer stick
3 pens
a gluestick
granola bar
plaid Scottie dog coin purse that Katie gave me (from London)
sticky note with team points on it
snip of poster board with another teacher's number written on it
4 binder rings
pad of miniature sized sticky notes
lip gloss
receipt from the Learning Palace
hand drawn map of how to get to another school
ATM receipt
flashing Oktoberfest button
phone number of a child's parent

That was all inside the main compartment. I have two little outside pouches that hold:

an individual wet wipe
calculator
Valsetz cheezy stix order form (circa 2006) that has a funny note written on the back
slip of paper with the alarm code to my parents' house
Target receipt for shoes I bought 2 years ago but have never worn

And my purse is relatively small. We're not talking a huge hobo bag that you could fit a baby in.