Monday, August 22, 2011

Gym Fees

I had a conversation at church yesterday with my newly acquired friend, Emily. Rather than discuss all sorts of theological questions, the meaning of life, or whether Jesus currently has a beard or is clean cut, we discussed work out habits.

Emily sort of likes work out videos because she can do them when no one is watching. I told her that's exactly my problem. I have an over priced gym membership because I am not so much paying for the equipment as I am paying for the peer pressure of not quitting. See, if I did a work out DVD at home, I could push pause at any moment. I could go eat Reese's peanut butter cups in between cardio and stretching. After ten push ups, I might decide I'd rather be checking my e-mail. It is impossible for me to work out at home. What I need is the peer pressure of ten pairs of eyes watching me.

I realize that people probably aren't really watching me at the gym, because I rarely watch other people (unless they look like a version of Michael Vartan from Alias, which this one guy does. I'm pretty sure he was/is in the military, and his name is Jared or Jerald or something like that. The reason I don't talk to him is because like Agent Vaughn, he's probably about ten years older than me). Anyway, people don't really watch other people at the gym, because they are so self-conscious about themselves. I always believe someone is watching me, so I do my best not to quit after five push ups, and I won't stop on the treadmill after fifteen minutes because that makes me look really lame.

In fact, sometimes when I am on the elliptical, I will go for much longer than I had intended, just because the person who came to use the machine to my left got on ten minutes ago, and I don't want them to think I've only been doing this for fifteen minutes. So I'll stay on for like an extra twenty minutes, or until my water bottle is bone dry and I'm so delusional with thirst that I stumble off the machine and fall to the ground like a weakened soldier in the Afghan desert.

I also do group exercise classes at the gym, and these are a great source of peer pressure. I do a weight lifting class, and granted I don't lift half as much as most people, but I still do everything and don't quit. I don't want people thinking I am a wimp, even if I do have noodle arms and can only do overhead presses with a maximum of 18 pounds. My most favorite class is the kickboxing one, which is an hour of intense cardio.

When I started going to the gym after the first 22 years of a sedentary lifestyle, I would never have thought of doing cardio for 60 whole minutes. I certainly wouldn't do that in my living room with a work out video. Heck no, I probably would have lasted twenty minutes. But because there are fifteen other people in the room with me, I can't quit. Sometimes peer pressure is a very good thing.

Another reason I go to the gym regularly is because I spend an exorbitant amount of money on it. I hate wasting money, so if I am paying for a membership, I am darn well going to use that membership, even if I hate going. I want to get my money's worth. I'm glad to say I don't really hate going to the gym anymore. Instead I have anticipation, because who knows who you'll meet at the gym? I mean, what if I saw Richard Simmons there one day, giving a special class presentation? Or Billy Banks came to kick boxing? Or Jillian Michaels was on the bicycle next to me, and she started yelling at me to move it?
 Yes, paying too much for a gym membership and believing that people are watching my every move is what keeps me in shape. What do you do to keep in shape? Do at-home-videos work for you?

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