a letter to Not My Husband

Dear Not-My-Husband,
Let's be honest here, Not My Future Husband has a greater probability of reading this than my future husband does, and I like to write for a larger audience, not just one person, so I am writing this letter to all the men who will never be my husband. Don't call me a cheater.

So Not My Husband, I have some things to tell you. First off, there are no hard feelings. You don't want to take me out to dinner and I probably think your car smells funny. It never would've worked out. You might already be married, or have a girlfriend, or you're ten years older than me, or eight years younger than me, or you are only attracted to blondes, or you only date models, or you find me annoying. The possibilities are endless, really.

You're probably wondering what it is I have to say to all the men who are not ever going to love me or be married to me, and it's this:

You are a good man. You may think I'm a liar. You may be thinking "How can Joelle use the collective 'you' with an audience she doesn't even know? What is if a child abuser is reading this right now and he is told he is a good man? I just can't believe anything you're saying."

Take it easy, fellow. I put a special filter on this particular post, and if you are not a good man, what comes up instead is a link to a virus. Your computer knows everything about you.

You are a good man. Too often we hear men spoken of in a negative way. Let me speak of the good men I have known. Chances are, you're one of them.


Good man, you make others feel safe.
You do the hard work when no one else steps up. 
You are cheerful to serve.
Good man, you are brave. 
You think through tough problems and come up with working solutions. 
You are kind. 
You stand up for your family, your friends--even a stranger. 
You speak truth. 
You make others laugh.
You have amazing talents, and your passion for what you love is inspiring.
You are honest.
You are a good man.
People are proud to know you.