But then I had to move the antennae around, because we don't have cable and I have to rely on the tv micro chips in space to land on the rabbit ears and form a picture on the screen. I was really excited for the first clear station to come in, which happened to be the CW, formerly the WB with that singing frog. Do you know what is on the CW at 8:30 pm on a Thursday night? The Vampire Diaries, that's what.
Do you know who is on The Vampire Diaries? Only two characters from my two favorite shows of all time, Alias and Lost. Within ten seconds of watching this show, I spotted Ian Somerhalder, who played Boone on Lost, and David Anders, who played Sydney Bristow's pesky enemy Sark on Alias. And okay, neither of these characters were my absolute favorite (though I did like Sark quite a bit, for an evil-plotting-to-ruin-the-world type), but still. They were two characters on two of the best shows of all time. I had to watch.
Sark from Alias
Boone from LOST
This is what I could gather from half an episode: Boone and Sark are enemies. They live in a place called Mystic Falls. Boone is a vampire. He has a younger brother who is very hot and also a vampire. Boone's little brother (Stefan) likes to touch the wounds of injured women and then lick their blood off of his fingers. Stefan is in high school and has a mortal girlfriend. She wants to kiss him but he's afraid of what he might do to her (i.e, suck her blood and kill her). She trusts him though, so they end up making out. Then this other guy finds somebody's diary. I think it was the girlfriend's. There's a magic ring involved somehow. Boone likes to drink human blood but his brother Stefan is trying to restrain himself. Apparently he's done so for years. And now he's throwing it all away for some woman's head wound.
It is at this time that I would just like to pull an Insatiable quote, which I've posted before. Main character Meena Harper says, "Vampires always seem to choose to prey on pretty female victims. And yet for some reason women find this sexy. The idea that they’re nobly restraining themselves from killing is supposed to be attractive? Excuse me, but how is knowing a guy wants to kill you hot?"
Because this is what it's like: hot vampire Stefan (who is supposed to be in high school but looks 25 but is actually 28 in real life(I IMBDd him)) goes around being in love with this high school girl, but he wants to seriously suck some blood. Only he calls it "feeding" which makes it sound even worse, like he's a piranha in the fish tank that needs some hamburger. His face starts to crack when he's craving blood, and the expression on his face when he does drink blood is quite inappropriate. Like maybe he's enjoying it a little too much. To which I'm like "What the hell? Can't you find something else to eat?" I mean, I can understand some cravings. When I crave Chinese fried rice, I can get quite monstrous. I'll think about it all day and believe I just have to have it. But then feed me some pizza instead and I forget about it. So that's why I tell Stefan Salvatore, "go to Pizza Hut and order a deep dish." Surely it can't be that bad. And okay, maybe human blood to him is more like coke to a drug addict, but still. There's rehab for that.
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