The Case of the Missing Mr. Binney

On Friday 11-11-11, I had a bunch of associates over for a secret detective society dinner. I told my neighbors that it was just my birthday party, so that they wouldn't suspect anything out of the ordinary. About ten of us convened for supper and sleuthing. I basically had the time of my life and thoroughly enjoyed watching everyone try to solve the case I had set up for them.

Here are shots of dinner

Each place setting featured a notepad, pen, and magnifying glass or mustache.

A file folder acted as a place mat.

Vanessa, my dear Natalie's little sister.

Kaitlynn doesn't even try to hide her look of surprise.

Maybe Kaitlynn was surprised that I invited Count Olaf to my party.

 After enjoying a delicious dinner of lasagna, salad, garlic bread, and wine, I prepared my team with a little training. Our first stop was the

I took my spare bedroom and transformed it into a drug education center and fingerprinting lab. Drug education is very important, and I did my best to create a realistic atmosphere.

The person who does this drug is probably distraught that Borders closed and he/she can no longer use a Border's rewards card. 

Ice.

You're gonna go trippin' on them dots.

Shrooms.

Beans, Hug Drug, Lovers Speed

Black Tar, Hell Dust, Smack

To gain all sorts of knowledge on drugs, you should visit the DEA's website like I did. Here is a link. You can look up a drug, see its effects, learn its street names, and more. The detectives took really good notes.

After the drug education portion, people took their own prints using a stamp pad so that they could use them as a reference during the fingerprinting slide show presentation. You can easily dust for prints using powdered chalk, clear tape, and a paintbrush.

The other room that I set up for use was the

This is where people could study codes and practice writing them.

I've had these code books since I was a kid.

There was also an invisible ink station. Use a q-tip and dip it into lemon juice. Write your message and allow it to dry. It should be invisible. To show the message, put the paper under a light bulb. The writing will turn brown. This is because lemon juice is an organic compound and contains enzymes, which burn faster than the paper. It is also supposed to work with milk and apple juice. 

And okay, never mind that the Cryptology Center was actually my laundry room. It worked.

Agents study and write codes while looking fantastic.

After initial training, we all sat in the conference room so that I could do the debriefing.

This is what my team was told:
Last Monday night a man went missing. His name is Franklin Binney. I’ve been working with the police for the past few days trying to locate Frank, but he has not yet been found. We are suspecting foul play, a revenge of sorts, as no ransom note has been received. We’re not sure if it is a kidnapping or a getaway. 


At any rate, Frank’s family is worried about him, and they need us to find him. Mrs. Binney came home on Friday evening after a round of Bingo with her grandmother. She expected Frank to be at home watching TV, but he was not. Instead, the garage door was left open, but his car was still parked inside. Frank was no where to be found, and did not answer his cell phone. Police gathered clues from inside the house and garage, and it is up to our team of detectives to decipher their meanings and find Frank. He may be dead or alive. We need to find him stat.

The detectives discussed for a while to come up with a list of questions and to decide where to go from there. Then I gave out the first clue envelope. It contained what looked like loose pieces of Smarties. Agent Schuyler reflected upon his drug training and immediately suggested we take it to the lab for testing, as he suspected it might actually be Ecstasy pills.

Schuyler may or may not work for the FBI. I can't really say.

The next clue envelope looked like this. It was a grocery list with a Reeses peanut butter cup wrapper inside. This evidence was found in the garage on the floor near Mr. Binney's car.

I had the absolute most fun watching my detectives try to analyze this piece of evidence. They a had a hay day over it. First they thought it was in code and wanted to take it to the Cryptology Center to be studied. Then they noticed all the grease from the candy wrapper and wanted to lift prints from the thing. Everyone got really riled up when someone suggested it was actually a drug shopping list using drug street names. This is because the word "beans" was written on the list.

I know a lot of people who make shopping lists for all the drugs they need, don't you? : )

Oh, the team also thought that there might be invisible ink on the paper, so they stuck it under a light bulb but nothing showed up.

The photo below depicts Agent Brown in hysterics because she can't believe certain people want to discuss pre-nuptial agreements WHEN A MAN IS MISSING! I really appreciated her concern for a fictional stranger. Be assured that if anyone she knows in actual life goes missing, she will be all over it.

After a while this envelope was given. That's right, people. It was a bag of cocaine.

 The detectives thought it was a red herring and had nothing to do with Frank Binney's case, as the baggie was found down the street from Frank's house. The team decided to make a phone call to Mrs. Binney and one of the Binney's neighbors to interview them. Unfortunately, I was not in the room during the phone conversations due to my responsibilities managing the crime lab.

Travis holds the phone up on speaker so everyone can hear while Natalie uses her lap top to do some investigating of her own.

Another clue was given and the team knew exactly what to do with the information. They looked up the owner of the phone number online and went from there. They begged police to be sent to Tualatin without even seeing the final clue.

Don't call this number. I don't know the guy.

The final clue.

The agents were anxious to hear from the police if they found anything in the Tualatin home belonging to Michael Jones. I then read the full case to them.

Frank got in his car to go to the grocery store. He’s on a sugar-less diet, by his wife’s commands. He was looking for a fix. He found what looked like  loose Smarties in his child’s Halloween bucket, which they kept on the top of the fridge. They were actually Ecstasy pills. He went to the grocery store and bought twinkies and Reeses peanut butter cups. When he got home, he was so enthralled and energized from the drugs that he went for a run down the street, leaving the garage door open. 


He ran down the street and was crossing unsafely when a car struck him. It was mostly Frank’s fault, as he was wearing no reflective clothing. The driver was a crack cocaine user named Tony Tantino. Because of Frank’s mental state, he wasn’t all that damaged, but the crack user could tell he was on something. Tony Tantino didn’t want to call the police or ambulance for help, because he was afraid they would notice Frank’s drug use and get suspicious about Tony Tantino. So he figured he’d help a brother out, take him back to his place, and let the drugs wear off. 


Frank was very friendly and happy. They played games on the xbox and ate cake. Then Tony’s girlfriend came home. Tony did a line of coke. Frank got cozy with the gf. By morning, (which was actually 1pm the next day), Frank found himself in bed with the girlfriend. Tony was strung out on the kitchen floor. Frank thought “Oh crap, what’s happened?” but he was still riding the thrills of ecstasy. He saw some cocaine on the table and snorted some of it out of curiosity.
 

Tony wanted to drop Frank off at his house, but Frank was paranoid to go home (effect of ecstacy), and because he had cheated on his wife while under the influence. But he didn’t know he had been under the influence of ecstacy. Confused and paranoid, Frank didn’t think he could go home. He called his buddy Mike from college, asking if he could stay at his house for a few days while he sorted some things out. Mike said “yeah, you can stay at my place, but I am leaving for business in Germany today, I’ll leave you a key.” Frank had his wallet still and bought a bus ticket to his friend’s house, being fearful of going home for the car. 

Mr. Binney was found in Tualatin eating Cheetos, drinking beer, and being paranoid. His friend has no idea about anything and is in Germany, so he didn’t know to notify police of Franks' whereabouts.

moral of the story is: check your kids’ Halloween candy. 

 The detectives did a great job with the case. I was really impressed with their reasoning and thought processes. I think I am going to host a case party at least every three months, because they are so much fun for me. Only the next case I create is going to be really, really good. I might hire some actors. Stage a murder. Get the police involved. It will be very realistic. 

this one time I went to the moon and back

A few weeks ago I held a chalk art party at my house. There's a 52% chance that you've already seen the photos, but in case you are not my grandma, cousin, best friend, fake cousin, or official Facebook friend, I will share a few of them with you.

The two precious girls on either side of me used to live in my house. Miss them.

Leslie takes a trip to the moon and Kaitlynn just can't let go of Earth.

I always wanted to be able to fly.

Snow in the summer!

Part of my space suit included oven mitts.

Megan can do a handstand.

This is my adorable friend Natalie. I just love this shot.

Natalie is pretty fierce and she has the strength of Godzilla.

When men go to space, they need to take wine with them. It's gonna be a long trip back home. That's Schuyler, which is NOT pronounced Shoe-ler. It's like Sky-ler. But with Schuy. His nick name is Shoes.

Things I make

This post is heavily laden with photos. I was rather impatient about it because it definitely took more than ten minutes to put them on here. So appreciate, please.

If you are an in-town friend and have been to my house recently, then you already know this. You might already know this as well if you are a stalker, know where I live, and have peered in through the windows of my house while I was at work. In the past month, here are some things I have made:

These were for the coffee break/sweet treat time we have at church. Quite obviously they are cookie monster cupcakes. The Sesame Street theme had nothing to do with anything, I just thought those blue faces were hilarious, so I had to make them. I got the idea from Pinterest. By far the best part was shoving the cookies into the mouths. Anybody have a children's birthday party you want me to plan?

Remember how I said I was going to make a chalkboard globe during spring break? Yeah, finally got that done.

Step 1: acquire an old globe from Goodwill.

Step 2: Paint in all the water with black chalkboard paint, then outline the continents with white paint, then paint the land masses black with more chalkboard paint. Two coats were necessary. Step 3: Decorate with chalk.

 

 

 

 

Of course he lives at the North Pole.

I kind of love Europe and mostly want to go to Africa.

When my friend Liz was over, she drew that picture of a penguin on Antarctica.

 I have this thing for maps, which is odd considering how much I get lost while driving. I made this pennant out of old maps that I bought for $0.79 at St. Vincent de Paul's thrift store. I got an ENTIRE BOOK of maps. Do you know how excited I was to find this book? Incredibly. I am going to craft so many things out of map paper.

I also have a thing for tissue paper pom poms. 

Can I just say that the color of my wall looks very nasty, but it is not that gross in real life. I'm not color blind.

Two Saturdays ago (on the 14th of May) I hosted a birthday party at my house for four of my friends, who were all born in May. I made a lot of cake.

Natalie, Kaitlynn, Leslie, and Casey all got a mini cake with their initial on it.

From left to right: Natalie, Kaitlynn, Leslie, Casey, my pasty arms lighting the candles.

We laughed a lot that night. And you know, ate a lot of sugar.

In addition to the spread you see here, I made a whole other sheet cake. We also had a potluck style meal, and guests brought PLENTY of food. Because we had so much grub, I was left with quite a bit of cake. I may or may not have eaten all or most of it the following week. For dinner.