My actual disguise kit

This is what happens when my roommate leaves for the whole weekend and I have the entire house to myself.

In this video I show you a variety of good disguises, such as: nerd glasses, jelly fish Jamaican hat, credibility glasses, masquerade mask, blond wig, groucho/Arvin Sloane glasses, and a head covering. Because you never know when you might have to get away quickly, or do some detective work.




Here is a photo of the evil Arvin Sloane from Alias, in case you don't know who I'm talking about.

Disguise-O Mug

I would have shown this to you sooner, but I couldn't risk my dad reading this blog before Christmas Day. So you get to see it now. For part of my dad's Christmas present, I made him this.

It's a mustache mug. I just got a white mug and painted a 'stache on it using paint made especially for ceramics. I had to bake it for 30 minutes afterward. The tag says "Evading the law? Need to spy on someone without having them recognize you? Change your look with this mug and its contents. Hand washing recommended."  I am fairly certain my dad has needed to evade the law a time or two, and he probably likes to spy on people also. That's probably where I get it from.

 Then I went to the Dollar Tree and bought things like hillbilly/thug teeth, a Sheriff badge, sunglasses, and glasses with eyes in them.

On the bottom I signed my love.

Takes the term "mug shot" to a whole new level, doesn't it?

A Halloween $cript

I was going to write you a really creepy Halloween story. You know, something about how I went to work at my school on Sunday evening (which I will totally still be doing, thanks to the overwhelming amount of work I have to do) and I saw the ghost of the child who haunts the school. There totally is one. A boy died there many years ago. Okay, now that I'm starting to think about it, I'm getting the heebie jeebies in anticipation. I don't want to be at my school on Halloween. I'll have to wake up super early on Sunday so I can get there and be gone before dark, when all the vampires and ghosts are walking by. What was I thinking? I totally should have stayed late on Friday, instead of jetting at 3:45. Anyway. As I was saying, I was going to write you a creepy Halloween story, but instead all you get is this script of dialouge.

Setting: My car, driving down Lancaster at 4:30pm on October 30th.
Characters: Me, Officer Bingham

Me: (rolls down window, peers up at police officer who has just pulled me over) Hello?

Officer Bingham: Ma'am are you aware that you were going ten miles over the speed limit?

Me: No, I didn't realize. I'm sorry.

Officer Bingham: Can I see your license and registration, please.

Me: Yeah, sure. (leans over to open glove box)

Officer Bingham: Jo Lee? (As he tries to pronounce my name off of my license, his eyes shift to the floor of my back seat)

Me: Jo Elle.

Officer Bingham: Joelle, have you been drinking today?

Me: Not yet. I've only had water, I swear.

Officer Bingham: Why do I see an empty Jack Daniels bottle in the backseat of your car?

Me: Oh, that. That's been empty. It's for my Ke$ha costume.

Officer Bingham: (raises eyebrow skeptically--probably because I am not blonde and thus do not look much like Kesha).

Me: Or rather, it's for my best friend's Ke$ha costume. We're going to a Halloween party tonight, and it's for her outfit.

Officer Bingham: Who's Kesha?

Me: You know, the singer.

Officer Bingham: Never heard of her.

Me: You know....Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy?

Officer Bingham: (who has obviously never woken up feeling like P Diddy any morning his whole life) So how's a bottle of whiskey fit into this?

Me: (sings quietly) Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back...They're the lyrics!

should've had this pic to show the cop

Officer Bingham: So if your friend is dressing up as this Kesha person, who are you going to be?

Me: Snooki.

Officer Bingham: Who?

Me: Really, you should watch more MTV.

Officer Bingham: How about I just write you a ticket.

The End.


FYI This has been a fictional life story. I did not get pulled over by the cops. Or at least, I haven't yet. But the part about the ghost at my school is totally true.