I'm pretty sure that my sister is going to have babies one day, and it'll be on accident. Her and her husband, they say they don't want to have kids, but she also said that she didn't want to get married, and now look at her. She also said she would be a hermit, living up in the mountains with nothing but her animals (such as her horses, dogs, rabbits, etc.) and a shotgun. But now she's living on a road off of one of the busiest streets in Salem.
So what's going to happen is, one day she's going to forget to go in for her shot, because she's really forgetful and puts things off till the last minute. She'll forget to go in, but she'll finally go in after two weeks. She'll be like "oops" to her doctor. But what her doctor will say is "oops, during those two weeks you got pregnant." And then she's going to have a child. So I'm fairly certain I will be an aunt someday, and my sister will be a mother. It'll be by accident, but it's going to happen, and she'll get over it.
It's a good thing that my sister never reads my blog, or she might be a little mad that I said these things about her.
Today M.P. said to Susan on her way through the lunch line, "I really like how all of the fourth graders are switching teachers for math now." And Susan's like "hmm, what do you mean?" M.P. replies, "It's a lot more quiet now." Susan and I were gossiping after school (like we do) and we were like "that's a very cryptic message, what does she mean by that?" As in, it's quiet at lunch time? It's quiet in the classrooms? It's quiet in the building? Like, what are you saying about our classes? Basically, this is what Susan and I think (and it's true): whenever it's quiet, M.P. likes it. Even if the kids aren't doing anything, as long as they're quiet then all is good. If we had a whole class full of narcoleptic students then that would just be perfect because then they would make absolutely no sound whatsoever and M.P. would be just thrilled that we have quiet classrooms. No matter what you do, if your kids are learning a lot and participating and having really good discussions but your kids are too loud, then it's bad.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
iF yoU seeK (amy)
Today I was forced to attend an hour long meeting with the fourth grade team, whereupon we do paperwork that is not beneficial to anyone, yet is still required. I was told there would be three separate documents.
I start to fill out each one, then down at the bottom I draw a little f in pencil. We continue to talk as my eyelids act as blinds and go from open to closed. I get the next piece of paperwork we have to turn in and I sketch a not too curvy c on it. Really, it looks more like an l. Last document, I'm straining myself to think of educational phrases to put on it. This is so stupid. I draw a tiny u at the bottom, really lightly. I'm a little sad that my word is incomplete, but grateful we're finished. Only, we're not. After discussing excellent mullets, fanny packs (in relation to emergency preparedness) and three piece suits, Jennifer tells us there is a fourth one. Groan. Before I even start filling out the top part like I'm supposed to, I sneak a little k down at the bottom. No one notices.
They're talking away about nothing as I line up the bottom edges of the four papers. Yes, I get a secret joy from writing expletives on documents that I know will go to the assistant principal and/or principal. The thing is, they never get them all at once. I just have to turn in the letter u this week. J.P. Will never have them all at once. I'm thinking about this, thinking about the very off chance that he notices the tiny letters. Like he would, I doubt he reads most of the actual documentation that I do. He probably just scans student names and what level I put them at. I think about the one in a million chance that he gets all four of these documents at once, and then returns them to me, the date marked at the top in red ink like he does, and then at the bottom, a circle around each one of my four rebellious letters. Like he'd say anything about it. He'd probably put a smiley face next to it, because he hates it too.
I start to fill out each one, then down at the bottom I draw a little f in pencil. We continue to talk as my eyelids act as blinds and go from open to closed. I get the next piece of paperwork we have to turn in and I sketch a not too curvy c on it. Really, it looks more like an l. Last document, I'm straining myself to think of educational phrases to put on it. This is so stupid. I draw a tiny u at the bottom, really lightly. I'm a little sad that my word is incomplete, but grateful we're finished. Only, we're not. After discussing excellent mullets, fanny packs (in relation to emergency preparedness) and three piece suits, Jennifer tells us there is a fourth one. Groan. Before I even start filling out the top part like I'm supposed to, I sneak a little k down at the bottom. No one notices.
They're talking away about nothing as I line up the bottom edges of the four papers. Yes, I get a secret joy from writing expletives on documents that I know will go to the assistant principal and/or principal. The thing is, they never get them all at once. I just have to turn in the letter u this week. J.P. Will never have them all at once. I'm thinking about this, thinking about the very off chance that he notices the tiny letters. Like he would, I doubt he reads most of the actual documentation that I do. He probably just scans student names and what level I put them at. I think about the one in a million chance that he gets all four of these documents at once, and then returns them to me, the date marked at the top in red ink like he does, and then at the bottom, a circle around each one of my four rebellious letters. Like he'd say anything about it. He'd probably put a smiley face next to it, because he hates it too.
Monday, April 27, 2009
probably should not be sharing
Excerpts from sometime last year...or maybe even the year before, you won't really know.
If I had to be stuck on a desert island with someone, I'd pick______, even though I have a feeling he might be useless when it comes to things like building a shelter out of debris or shimmying up a palm tree for some coconuts.
My imaginary conversation, in effort to discover if he's single, while talking about a particular upcoming event:
me "You could take your wife."
him "I don't have a wife."
me "You could take your girlfriend."
him "I don't have a girlfriend."
me "You could take me."
--Silence--
Sometimes I just want to push himup against a wall and kiss his neck over a cliff.
Unfortunately, my heart is shrinking every year. One day it will be as small and dried up as a raisin. And I'll be a fruit cake.
If I had to be stuck on a desert island with someone, I'd pick______, even though I have a feeling he might be useless when it comes to things like building a shelter out of debris or shimmying up a palm tree for some coconuts.
My imaginary conversation, in effort to discover if he's single, while talking about a particular upcoming event:
me "You could take your wife."
him "I don't have a wife."
me "You could take your girlfriend."
him "I don't have a girlfriend."
me "You could take me."
--Silence--
Sometimes I just want to push him
Unfortunately, my heart is shrinking every year. One day it will be as small and dried up as a raisin. And I'll be a fruit cake.
how I almost got fired
My alarm clock went off and I listened to a few songs on the radio without opening an eye, as usual. After about three songs, I decided it was time to drag myself out of bed. I blinked and looked at the clock. 10:05 a.m. My heart almost stopped right there. I thought, "Holy shit! It is Monday and I am supposed to be teaching right now!" I wanted to throw up. How could this happen to me? It happened one time when I was student teaching, and I showed up to work an hour and a half late, but I was forgiven since a) I was not the actual full time teacher and b) I wasn't getting paid for it.
I scrambled to get ready in seven minutes. Why hadn't the school called me to see where I was? Did they have a substitute? I thought about how awful it would be to walk in to my classroom. Probably they couldn't get a sub that fast, and Mrs. Foster would be teaching, or J.P. would be in there trying to teach, or worse, the principal.
I figured I should call to let them know I'd be there in 20 minutes, and to tell them what to teach. My lesson plans were here at home with me, because I was planning for the week. To make it worse, the kids wouldn't even be able to tell any adult our schedule, because we have a brand new schedule this week that the kids don't even know about. Plus, they have a new seating chart and their stuff would be everywhere. And we have new math classes this week. It was the worst possible day to be gone.
I imagined that this would go on my record. If M.P. didn't fire me on the spot, it sure as hell would be my one and only warning. I went to the bathroom quick to wash my face. I heard Liz down stairs. "Liz!" I shouted. "Why didn't you wake me up?" She honestly didn't know I was still here. Sleeping my career away.
I started thinking about the lies I would have to make in order to save my ass. I had to take my sister to the hospital in the middle of the night, I was up with her, worrying about her, I fell asleep at the hospital and didn't remember to call in for a substitute. Or maybe, don't call the school. Call my mother and have my mother call the school and say I was in the hospital, that I had been in a car accident. That would be the only acceptable excuse for not showing up to work and not calling ahead of time. Oh my god I was going to vomit. If I made that lie, I wouldn't be able to go back for another three days, just to make it believable. And then I would have to do some Hollywood make-up to give myself fake bruises. Pay the doctor off to give me a fake cast and walk in with a crutch.
Just as I was trying to decide what to do, I started to feel funny. I got dizzy, and it became difficult to focus on anything in the room. I blinked a bit, and when I opened my eyes again I was lying down. As I gained consciousness, I realized I was wearing the same clothes from Sunday. I looked around my bedroom. I looked at the clock. My heart stopped. It was still Sunday! It was all a horrible dream! I still had a chance to save my future, to make it to work on time! The whole thing was imaginary. I had no idea it was a dream at the time, it all felt so real. Thank the good Lord above I had a second chance.
I still have a job. And I'm setting two alarms for the rest of this week, just in case. BTW, I arrived to work today 20 minutes before J.P., which is a record for me. Nothing like a dream that scares you shit less to motivate you to go to work.
I scrambled to get ready in seven minutes. Why hadn't the school called me to see where I was? Did they have a substitute? I thought about how awful it would be to walk in to my classroom. Probably they couldn't get a sub that fast, and Mrs. Foster would be teaching, or J.P. would be in there trying to teach, or worse, the principal.
I figured I should call to let them know I'd be there in 20 minutes, and to tell them what to teach. My lesson plans were here at home with me, because I was planning for the week. To make it worse, the kids wouldn't even be able to tell any adult our schedule, because we have a brand new schedule this week that the kids don't even know about. Plus, they have a new seating chart and their stuff would be everywhere. And we have new math classes this week. It was the worst possible day to be gone.
I imagined that this would go on my record. If M.P. didn't fire me on the spot, it sure as hell would be my one and only warning. I went to the bathroom quick to wash my face. I heard Liz down stairs. "Liz!" I shouted. "Why didn't you wake me up?" She honestly didn't know I was still here. Sleeping my career away.
I started thinking about the lies I would have to make in order to save my ass. I had to take my sister to the hospital in the middle of the night, I was up with her, worrying about her, I fell asleep at the hospital and didn't remember to call in for a substitute. Or maybe, don't call the school. Call my mother and have my mother call the school and say I was in the hospital, that I had been in a car accident. That would be the only acceptable excuse for not showing up to work and not calling ahead of time. Oh my god I was going to vomit. If I made that lie, I wouldn't be able to go back for another three days, just to make it believable. And then I would have to do some Hollywood make-up to give myself fake bruises. Pay the doctor off to give me a fake cast and walk in with a crutch.
Just as I was trying to decide what to do, I started to feel funny. I got dizzy, and it became difficult to focus on anything in the room. I blinked a bit, and when I opened my eyes again I was lying down. As I gained consciousness, I realized I was wearing the same clothes from Sunday. I looked around my bedroom. I looked at the clock. My heart stopped. It was still Sunday! It was all a horrible dream! I still had a chance to save my future, to make it to work on time! The whole thing was imaginary. I had no idea it was a dream at the time, it all felt so real. Thank the good Lord above I had a second chance.
I still have a job. And I'm setting two alarms for the rest of this week, just in case. BTW, I arrived to work today 20 minutes before J.P., which is a record for me. Nothing like a dream that scares you shit less to motivate you to go to work.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
10 things to do this summer
1) Dye my hair pink and blonde.
2) Wear ratty jeans and hoodies (when weather appropriate).
3) Ditto flip flops.
4) Move.
5) Finish editing my two books and send them off to publishers. Finish writing my third one, which has been waiting patiently in a file of Microsoft Word for the past three years.
6) Create cartoon "The Adventures of Super Virgin." Details on this concept to follow.
7) Attend writer's conference in Portland in August. See vice-president of MGM.
8) Five-year class reunion! I am so archaic right now.
9) Write to Morning Star Farms and demand that they bring back their grilled chicken soy burger.
10) Make day dreams become a reality, i.e, when on extended family vacation in Florence, meet Tyler, who has the lake house next door, and ride around on the back of his jet ski. My mother says that Tyler exists, and that he's very handsome, but every time I've been to our lake house he is never there. Personally, I don't think he exists. The reason I've never seen him is probably because when we do actually meet, we will fall so madly in love that we won't be able to be apart for more than nine hours. Obviously I can't handle that sort of attachment right now, so fate has decided that we need to meet somewhere down the future, as in, this August.
2) Wear ratty jeans and hoodies (when weather appropriate).
3) Ditto flip flops.
4) Move.
5) Finish editing my two books and send them off to publishers. Finish writing my third one, which has been waiting patiently in a file of Microsoft Word for the past three years.
6) Create cartoon "The Adventures of Super Virgin." Details on this concept to follow.
7) Attend writer's conference in Portland in August. See vice-president of MGM.
8) Five-year class reunion! I am so archaic right now.
9) Write to Morning Star Farms and demand that they bring back their grilled chicken soy burger.
10) Make day dreams become a reality, i.e, when on extended family vacation in Florence, meet Tyler, who has the lake house next door, and ride around on the back of his jet ski. My mother says that Tyler exists, and that he's very handsome, but every time I've been to our lake house he is never there. Personally, I don't think he exists. The reason I've never seen him is probably because when we do actually meet, we will fall so madly in love that we won't be able to be apart for more than nine hours. Obviously I can't handle that sort of attachment right now, so fate has decided that we need to meet somewhere down the future, as in, this August.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
12 dollar boots (w/o the fur)
Today I got my haircut. My appt. started at 2:30 and I left the chair at 4:10. Yeah, that's right, an hour and forty minutes of chopping. It's true that my stylist took like three breaks to answer the phone, but still. While I was there, about five high school girls were getting their hair done for prom. How much more dramatic could it be? So and so has to be home by 12:30, there are no hot guys at their school (except some guy named Grant, who everyone wants), my parents are losers, etc. My hair is a lot shorter now, and I'd post a picture except that I am too lazy to do that right now. Maybe later.
Last weekend I went shopping and I bought these super sweet boots for twelve bucks. TWELVE DOLLARS. They were more or less exactly what I was looking for. And they are actually comfortable. The best part about them is that the heels click when I walk, thus giving me more power in the classroom. Stomping heels make kids nervous.
Speaking of kids, on my way home today (because I was super lame and went into work on a Saturday), I was driving by the Boys and Girls Club and saw my all time favorite kid from last year, Daniel. He is super adorable and funny and I just love him. He's a 5th grader this year, and I figured he'd be all big and old looking, but I saw him walking on the sidewalk with his dad and he is still small and adorable. Maybe it's just my 4th graders this year, but it just seems like they are way too big to be 10 years old. My kids last year were a lot smaller, and they were the same age. I mean, isn't it wrong that I weigh less than several of my students? It's spring and they are finally a little bit taller than me.
It's midnight and I need to go to bed. Seriously.
Last weekend I went shopping and I bought these super sweet boots for twelve bucks. TWELVE DOLLARS. They were more or less exactly what I was looking for. And they are actually comfortable. The best part about them is that the heels click when I walk, thus giving me more power in the classroom. Stomping heels make kids nervous.
Speaking of kids, on my way home today (because I was super lame and went into work on a Saturday), I was driving by the Boys and Girls Club and saw my all time favorite kid from last year, Daniel. He is super adorable and funny and I just love him. He's a 5th grader this year, and I figured he'd be all big and old looking, but I saw him walking on the sidewalk with his dad and he is still small and adorable. Maybe it's just my 4th graders this year, but it just seems like they are way too big to be 10 years old. My kids last year were a lot smaller, and they were the same age. I mean, isn't it wrong that I weigh less than several of my students? It's spring and they are finally a little bit taller than me.
It's midnight and I need to go to bed. Seriously.
Friday, April 24, 2009
How did he leave?
Without a goodbye.
It was the entire basis of the novel I'm working on. Amazing how one little thing can trigger an eighty-thousand word manuscript. I was looking through my notes, at the page where I was trying to figure out the relationship development between my main characters. I knew where I wanted them, but wasn't sure how they got their considering how they met.
My question: "How did they become friends? When was the moment?"
My answer, after much thinking: "She had to see it in him. The moment of compassion where she likes him, the moment of desperation where she loves him."
One of my favorite sentences "I couldn't love him for all of the reasons that I did love him."
How I wish this manuscript was finished so I could send it off.
It was the entire basis of the novel I'm working on. Amazing how one little thing can trigger an eighty-thousand word manuscript. I was looking through my notes, at the page where I was trying to figure out the relationship development between my main characters. I knew where I wanted them, but wasn't sure how they got their considering how they met.
My question: "How did they become friends? When was the moment?"
My answer, after much thinking: "She had to see it in him. The moment of compassion where she likes him, the moment of desperation where she loves him."
One of my favorite sentences "I couldn't love him for all of the reasons that I did love him."
How I wish this manuscript was finished so I could send it off.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
don't bother reading
So I will admit I logged into Blogger not knowing what I'd write about. I just looked and saw that I hadn't posted since Tuesday. Which you know, was the day before yesterday.
Thank God it is Friday tomorrow. The kids really haven't been that bad at all this week, it's just that I am feeling the pressure from M.P. Just when I start to feel like I'm getting into the groove of this teacher thing, something else is thrown in that changes everything. I'll spare you the details, but I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. In fact, I was thinking about how I really should have cried at Tuesday's meeting, but didn't. Where were my emotions then? Apparently stored in writing, like the rest of my feelings.
On the bright side, my mostly-favorite kid, X, continues to crack me up. You never know when he is going to say something funny or clever. A kid after my own heart. We are reading Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume, and we were discussing the chapter where Peter's mom flies to Boston to visit Aunt Linda, who just had a baby. The question of why the mom went came up. X replied "She just wanted to pinch those baby cheeks one time and then fly back." While saying this he pinches his own chubby cheeks and starts to laugh a little. He's seriously adorable. I'm sad I have to give him up for 2 hours for our new math/lunch combo that got thrown upon us.
I keep ripping my knee to shreds because I can't bear the thought of missing kick class, even though I fully dislocated my knee cap exactly a week ago. It starts to feel a little better, so then I go to the gym. Like, I went on Monday and then it hurt so I skipped Tuesday but went on Wednesday. I didn't go today because I really want to go tomorrow. In case you didn't know, my right knee cap has the ability to rotate 4.5 inches in various directions. It's sick, and if you ever care to be disgusted, I can demonstrate. Usually I am a very quick healer, but it's taking longer this time.
Oh my gosh. I just realized it's Thursday and when I got home I totally had time to watch Lost but forgot all about it. It's too late now, I have to get ready for bed. Poo.
Instead of watching Lost when I got home, you know what I did? Calculate out exactly how many minutes per week I spend in meetings, prep, and teaching. This was because I feel like I never have enough prep time. I thought my calculations would justify my feelings, but when I look at it on paper, it doesn't, which makes me even more mad.
This is what is required (weekly):
100 minutes, or 5% of my time spent in meetings
1290 minutes, or 68% of my time spent teaching
500 minutes, or 26% of my time for prep.
This is what actually happens (estimate)
220 minutes, or 12% of my time spent in meetings
1290 minutes, or 68% of my time spent teaching
380 minutes, or 20% of my time for prep.
Because I have had meetings everyday this week, sometimes twice a day, when I should have had prep time. Oh, did I also mention that each week I spend an average of 350 extra minutes at school for which I do not get paid, which is about 18% more time that I am required to be there? Maybe it doesn't sound like a lot to you, but I sure would like to get paid an extra 18%. In case you were wondering, if I got paid an additional 18%, it would be more than enough to pay my rent. Also, it feels like a lot more than 18% when I am the last car to leave the parking lot every day for three days. I know I complain a lot. My mom used to tell me so all the time when I was little. I just want to be treated fairly.
Thank God it is Friday tomorrow. The kids really haven't been that bad at all this week, it's just that I am feeling the pressure from M.P. Just when I start to feel like I'm getting into the groove of this teacher thing, something else is thrown in that changes everything. I'll spare you the details, but I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. In fact, I was thinking about how I really should have cried at Tuesday's meeting, but didn't. Where were my emotions then? Apparently stored in writing, like the rest of my feelings.
On the bright side, my mostly-favorite kid, X, continues to crack me up. You never know when he is going to say something funny or clever. A kid after my own heart. We are reading Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume, and we were discussing the chapter where Peter's mom flies to Boston to visit Aunt Linda, who just had a baby. The question of why the mom went came up. X replied "She just wanted to pinch those baby cheeks one time and then fly back." While saying this he pinches his own chubby cheeks and starts to laugh a little. He's seriously adorable. I'm sad I have to give him up for 2 hours for our new math/lunch combo that got thrown upon us.
I keep ripping my knee to shreds because I can't bear the thought of missing kick class, even though I fully dislocated my knee cap exactly a week ago. It starts to feel a little better, so then I go to the gym. Like, I went on Monday and then it hurt so I skipped Tuesday but went on Wednesday. I didn't go today because I really want to go tomorrow. In case you didn't know, my right knee cap has the ability to rotate 4.5 inches in various directions. It's sick, and if you ever care to be disgusted, I can demonstrate. Usually I am a very quick healer, but it's taking longer this time.
Oh my gosh. I just realized it's Thursday and when I got home I totally had time to watch Lost but forgot all about it. It's too late now, I have to get ready for bed. Poo.
Instead of watching Lost when I got home, you know what I did? Calculate out exactly how many minutes per week I spend in meetings, prep, and teaching. This was because I feel like I never have enough prep time. I thought my calculations would justify my feelings, but when I look at it on paper, it doesn't, which makes me even more mad.
This is what is required (weekly):
100 minutes, or 5% of my time spent in meetings
1290 minutes, or 68% of my time spent teaching
500 minutes, or 26% of my time for prep.
This is what actually happens (estimate)
220 minutes, or 12% of my time spent in meetings
1290 minutes, or 68% of my time spent teaching
380 minutes, or 20% of my time for prep.
Because I have had meetings everyday this week, sometimes twice a day, when I should have had prep time. Oh, did I also mention that each week I spend an average of 350 extra minutes at school for which I do not get paid, which is about 18% more time that I am required to be there? Maybe it doesn't sound like a lot to you, but I sure would like to get paid an extra 18%. In case you were wondering, if I got paid an additional 18%, it would be more than enough to pay my rent. Also, it feels like a lot more than 18% when I am the last car to leave the parking lot every day for three days. I know I complain a lot. My mom used to tell me so all the time when I was little. I just want to be treated fairly.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I eat Bison
I went to the Roadhouse like one time and payed with my credit card and they've been e-mailing me crap ever since. Usually I just ignore it, but yesterday I got fed up after being sent a promotional flier for their new bison menu, complete with graphics. I e-mailed them back saying "stop sending me this crap, I am a vegetarian!" Today I got an e-mail saying I have been un-subscribed. Good, considering I never subscribed in the first place.
Also, I went to the library today to return something that was due and while there I of course got side tracked and found five more things to check out. I forgot my card in my car, but I have my library card number memorized, so I told it to them instead. Sadly, I could only check out two things because the max they let you take is 50. Normally I don't have quite so many books out (more like 38), but my kids are doing state reports using state books, and in case you forgot, there are 50 states.
The field trip went really well! Thanks to my mom and Brittany for volunteering again! The weather was perfect. Maybe I'll post some pictures later this week.
After school, however, was not so pleasant. Some ish went down. Or came up, whatever. It just seems as if they're like "what more can we do to eff with the fourth grade teachers?"
You know my day has been interesting when I end my journal entries with
"God, I am so pathetic." It's been more than usual lately. But only 39 more days until school is out.
P.S. Don't you really hate it when you find a new blog you like and then find out that the author is not consistent in posting everyday? I want new stuff EVERY DAY. I need some joy in my life. Write five sentences, that's all I'm asking. I guess I am sort of a hypocrite because I don't post everyday, but I almost do. And besides, it's not like I get comments begging for new material because my writing is the only source of joy in their lives. No, I am the only one that pathetic.
Also, I went to the library today to return something that was due and while there I of course got side tracked and found five more things to check out. I forgot my card in my car, but I have my library card number memorized, so I told it to them instead. Sadly, I could only check out two things because the max they let you take is 50. Normally I don't have quite so many books out (more like 38), but my kids are doing state reports using state books, and in case you forgot, there are 50 states.
The field trip went really well! Thanks to my mom and Brittany for volunteering again! The weather was perfect. Maybe I'll post some pictures later this week.
After school, however, was not so pleasant. Some ish went down. Or came up, whatever. It just seems as if they're like "what more can we do to eff with the fourth grade teachers?"
You know my day has been interesting when I end my journal entries with
"God, I am so pathetic." It's been more than usual lately. But only 39 more days until school is out.
P.S. Don't you really hate it when you find a new blog you like and then find out that the author is not consistent in posting everyday? I want new stuff EVERY DAY. I need some joy in my life. Write five sentences, that's all I'm asking. I guess I am sort of a hypocrite because I don't post everyday, but I almost do. And besides, it's not like I get comments begging for new material because my writing is the only source of joy in their lives. No, I am the only one that pathetic.
Monday, April 20, 2009
a beautiful mind
Oh my god I went to bed last night utterly horrified because I realized that if I had a legitimate stalker, they could totally find me. And my family. In fact, maybe they already know where I am, and they are going to threaten my life if I don't send them pictures of my bare feet, just like how Lilly Moscovitz's stalker, Norman, had a foot fetish and all he wanted to see was her bare toes. Good thing I'm moving soon. I probably shouldn't have said that, because now my stalker will know he needs to act quickly in order to catch me before I leave town.
Today I was thinking about how awful it would be if the administrators at my school found my blog. Because then nothing would be private. Even though this is not private, and I don't really mean it to be, but if they read it then I would have to either a) write about different things, or b) just ignore them at work and pretend that I am not the author of this blog. And it's not like I am a criminal or do anything that warrants firing, so if they read this then that would be fine. Just creepy. Kind of like how that HR rep stalked me on-line and called me at my place of employment. So, M.P. and J.P., if you are reading this then HELLO WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? NOTHING? OKAY GOOD BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE. Alright, so I know I am sounding very neurotic right now. Kind of like how John Nash thought he was being followed by the Russians because he was schizophrenic and imagined he was working for the government. Yes, Britt and I watched A Beautiful Mind on Saturday.
We are going on a field trip tomorrow and yay! it looks like it will be good weather. Just pray I survive the 45 minute bus ride--twice.
Today I was thinking about how awful it would be if the administrators at my school found my blog. Because then nothing would be private. Even though this is not private, and I don't really mean it to be, but if they read it then I would have to either a) write about different things, or b) just ignore them at work and pretend that I am not the author of this blog. And it's not like I am a criminal or do anything that warrants firing, so if they read this then that would be fine. Just creepy. Kind of like how that HR rep stalked me on-line and called me at my place of employment. So, M.P. and J.P., if you are reading this then HELLO WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? NOTHING? OKAY GOOD BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE. Alright, so I know I am sounding very neurotic right now. Kind of like how John Nash thought he was being followed by the Russians because he was schizophrenic and imagined he was working for the government. Yes, Britt and I watched A Beautiful Mind on Saturday.
We are going on a field trip tomorrow and yay! it looks like it will be good weather. Just pray I survive the 45 minute bus ride--twice.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
All the children follow me
I'm like Santa Claus, it seems like all of the children know me. These children's ability to spot me out in a crowd means that I can never safely go any where thinking no one I know will see me in sweat pants or messy hair or whatever. I went shopping this weekend, and in the span of two hours I saw 3 children I knew. Or rather, they saw me. I saw a former student at Old Navy. Then I went to another store and saw a kid who goes to the school I teach at now. I was never his teacher, but he recognized me because I talk to him almost daily in the bus line.
Then I went to Sears and this small child turns and says "Hi misses Grossen." I said "Hi, how are you?" even though I have no idea who he was. He was way too young to have ever been my student, and he wasn't with any older kids who were my student. He is a mystery to me, but it didn't even take him five seconds to remember my name, so obviously I know him. Some how. It's hard to remember the context of all these children. I've worked at three different schools in Salem, I worked in the children's library one summer, and at the Boys and Girls club the next. I see a lot of kids. Basically, I'm not safe anywhere.
I finished puppy sitting and now I'm at home doing laundry. Well, not right now of course. I need to go check and see if it's time to put it in the dryer. And good news! I actually graded a lot of math stuff this weekend! Like, seven out of the ten pounds of it. Now I'm going to go make a sandwich out of fake salami. It's made of soy.
Then I went to Sears and this small child turns and says "Hi misses Grossen." I said "Hi, how are you?" even though I have no idea who he was. He was way too young to have ever been my student, and he wasn't with any older kids who were my student. He is a mystery to me, but it didn't even take him five seconds to remember my name, so obviously I know him. Some how. It's hard to remember the context of all these children. I've worked at three different schools in Salem, I worked in the children's library one summer, and at the Boys and Girls club the next. I see a lot of kids. Basically, I'm not safe anywhere.
I finished puppy sitting and now I'm at home doing laundry. Well, not right now of course. I need to go check and see if it's time to put it in the dryer. And good news! I actually graded a lot of math stuff this weekend! Like, seven out of the ten pounds of it. Now I'm going to go make a sandwich out of fake salami. It's made of soy.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
My weekend so far
I woke up at 4:32 am and realized I was not in my own bed. After remembering I was at my sister's house puppy sitting, I rolled over and went to sleep, returning to my dreams of being mauled by dogs. In case you were wondering, Cinderly has not tried to attack me. Just the opposite, really, she's trying to lick my face off.
I woke up at 11:37, surprised at how late I had slept. However, Kaitlynn came over last night and after she left, I was still up for like two more hours. I had all of these intentions of waking up at 10 am and jumping in the hot tub before taking a shower. How glorious would that be, with the sun overhead? As it was, I was anxious to go shopping. I fed Cinderly, cleaned the puppy area, ate some yogurt, and took a shower.
Shopping was rather futile, I'd rather not talk about it. I did get some stuff, but it took me like seven hours and I was limping all over the mall because my knee cap is still sore from being dislocated on Thursday. I did get a lot of good stuff at the Learning Palace, but it set me back forty-odd dollars and I won't get reimbursed for it, considering our budget's still frozen. But whatev, I'll be able to use it next year too.
When I got home there was some gross stuff I'd rather not talk about either (it's probably not what you are thinking though). I let Cinderly out and discovered that Thor had let himself out of his kennel. He was still tied up, because he's been acting as Houdini a lot recently, so even though he's in a kennel, he has a chain. I called Jess and told her what is up. Thor chewed a hole in the wire of his gate, so even if I put him back in there, he will probably squeeze through again. I seriously don't know how he fit through though. The hole is only big enough for my head to fit through.
I went inside and checked out the movie selection. I watched Stomp the Yard. The beginning was rather ridiculous. I laughed even though they were having a dance battle and Chris Brown's character got shot. I mean really.
After the movie was over, I checked on the dogs again and attempted to rescue Thor from his stupidity, because he was all tangled up. Truth be told, I try to rescue a lot of people from their stupidity, only they never listen.
Britt is supposed to be coming over and we're taking advantage of the hot tub. Hopefully Thor won't completely escape, and the puppies won't chew a hole in their box and disappear.
I woke up at 11:37, surprised at how late I had slept. However, Kaitlynn came over last night and after she left, I was still up for like two more hours. I had all of these intentions of waking up at 10 am and jumping in the hot tub before taking a shower. How glorious would that be, with the sun overhead? As it was, I was anxious to go shopping. I fed Cinderly, cleaned the puppy area, ate some yogurt, and took a shower.
Shopping was rather futile, I'd rather not talk about it. I did get some stuff, but it took me like seven hours and I was limping all over the mall because my knee cap is still sore from being dislocated on Thursday. I did get a lot of good stuff at the Learning Palace, but it set me back forty-odd dollars and I won't get reimbursed for it, considering our budget's still frozen. But whatev, I'll be able to use it next year too.
When I got home there was some gross stuff I'd rather not talk about either (it's probably not what you are thinking though). I let Cinderly out and discovered that Thor had let himself out of his kennel. He was still tied up, because he's been acting as Houdini a lot recently, so even though he's in a kennel, he has a chain. I called Jess and told her what is up. Thor chewed a hole in the wire of his gate, so even if I put him back in there, he will probably squeeze through again. I seriously don't know how he fit through though. The hole is only big enough for my head to fit through.
I went inside and checked out the movie selection. I watched Stomp the Yard. The beginning was rather ridiculous. I laughed even though they were having a dance battle and Chris Brown's character got shot. I mean really.
After the movie was over, I checked on the dogs again and attempted to rescue Thor from his stupidity, because he was all tangled up. Truth be told, I try to rescue a lot of people from their stupidity, only they never listen.
Britt is supposed to be coming over and we're taking advantage of the hot tub. Hopefully Thor won't completely escape, and the puppies won't chew a hole in their box and disappear.
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